Mile High Semper Fi Moms

SANTA AND THE MARINE

2011-12-24T06:46:00.000-07:00

'Twas the night before Christmas, he lived all alone,
In a one bedroom home made only of stone.
I had come down the chimney with presents to give.
And to see just who in this house did live.
As I looked all about a strange sight I did see,
No tinsel, no presents not even a tree.
No stocking by the fire, just boots covered in sand,
On the wall hung a picture of some far off land.
With medals and badges and awards of all kind,
A sobering thought soon came to my mind.
For this house was different, unlike any I'd seen,
For this was the home of a U.S. Marine.
I'd heard stories about them, I had to see more,
So I walked down the hall and opened a door.
And there he lay sleeping, silent, alone,
Curled up on the floor in this one bedroom home.
He seemed so gentle, his face so serene,
Not how I pictured a U.S. Marine.
Could this be the hero of whom I'd just read?
Curled up in a poncho, a floor for his bed.His head was clean shaven, his weathered face tan,
I soon realized this was more than just any man.
I realized the families I'd visit this night,
Owed their lives to these people always ready to fight.
In just a few hours all the children would play,
And grownups would celebrate another Christmas day.
They all enjoyed freedom each month and all year,
Because of Marines like this one lying here.
I couldn't help but wonder how many lay alone,
On a cold Christmas Eve, in a land so far from home.
Just the very thought brought a tear to my eye,
I dropped to my knees and started to cry.
He must have awakened for I heard a rough voice,
"Don't cry Santa, for this is my choice.
I fight for freedom, I don't ask for more,
My life is my God, my Country, my Corps."
With that he rolled over, drifted off into sleep,
I couldn't control it, I continued to weep.
I watched him for hours, so silent so still,
Then noticed he shivered from the cold nights chill.
So I took off my jacket, the one made of red,
And covered my hero, from his toes to his head.
Then I put on his T-shirt of scarlet and gold,
With eagle, globe and anchor, emblazoned so bold.
Although it barely fit me, I swelled with pride,
For this one private moment, I felt Marine deep inside.
I didn't want to leave him so quiet in the night,
This guardian of honor, willing to die in a fight.
But half asleep he rolled over, in a voice clean and pure.
Said "Carry on Santa, it's Christmas Day and all is secure."
One look at my watch and I knew he was right,
Merry Christmas my friend, Semper Fi, and good night.

When Santa was a Marine

2011-12-01T13:52:00.001-07:00

Mary Alice Altorfer

Long ago, a grizzled Marine suited up as Santa Claus and, with the same flair as that gent from the North Pole, he thrilled a little girl on a brisk December morning at Cherry Point air station.

The helicopter hovered above as I saw his white-gloved hands waving to all us anxious kids screaming from below; I could hardly breathe with the excitement of a new toy and an actual visit from Santa Claus....

Read the story

2011 IDA Honor Awards Banquet With Guest Speaker Capt. Luis Carlos Montalvan and Tuesday – New York Times Bestselling Author of “Until Tuesday – A Wounded Warrior and the Golden Retriever Who Saved Him

2011-09-17T05:40:00.002-06:00

Come join the Invisible Disabilities Association for our Annual Honor Awards Banquet and Auction on October 2, 2011.

Enjoy an evening of awareness and inspiration! IDA will be honoring 11 amazing individuals and organizations making a difference in the lives of those living with illness, pain and disability.

Inspiring stories, touching presentations and lighthearted fun bring awareness to invisible disabilities. Doctors, nurses, friends and family often walk away saying, “Wow! I didn’t get it until tonight!”

2011 Banquet Flyer

COST for Dinner and Program: $50 per person – includes seating for the program, a delicious dinner and dessert. Cash bar.

COST for Dinner, Program and VIP Reception: $75 per person – includes seating for the program, dinner and dessert as well as the VIP Reception with Luis and Tuesday 4:00 pm to 5:30 pm. Limited availability.

SPONSORSHIPS: Table and Event Sponsorships are encouraged.
Sponsorships Details Here

LOCATION: Denver Marriott South in Lone Tree, CO

TIME: 5:30 pm Registration and Silent Auction – 6:15 Dinner and Program

VIP RECEPTION: 4:00 pm – optional, limited seating.

ATTIRE: Dressy or Business (Example for men: Suit or slacks and dress shirt with or without tie or jacket. Example for women: Dress, suit or blouse with slacks or skirt). Attendees are welcome to wear cocktail, semi-formal or formal attire if they prefer.

NOTICE: This is a fragrance free event. Please be considerate of people attending with allergies, asthma and Multiple Chemical Sensitivities (MCS) by not wearing perfume , cologne or fragranced lotion.

Unable to attend? Please consider a donation instead. Thank you!

Be sure to invite your friends, family, neighbors, doctors and co-workers!
Proceeds help the Invisible Disabilities Association continue to encourage, educate and connect people touched by illness, pain and disability around the globe! IDA is a 501(c)(3) Non-profit. 83-0390659
Contact event@invisibledisabilities.org for additional sponsorship information.

AUCTION: We are accepting auction item donations for 10/02/11.
Auction Letter – Auction Item Receipt

LIMITED TIME SPECIAL ROOM RATE: Single Room Event Rate at Marriott Denver South of $84 plus taxes. Reservations for the event made by individual attendees can be made directly with Marriott Reservations at 1-800-686-2767. Reservations by attendees must be received on or before Sunday, September 25, 2011.

Special Guest Speaker

Fmr Capt. Luis Carlos Montalvan and Tuesday – New York Times Bestselling Author of “Until Tuesday – A Wounded Warrior and the Golden Retriever Who Saved Him”

Luis is a 17-year veteran and former Captain in the U.S. Army, where he earned the Combat Action Badge, two Bronze Stars, and the Purple Heart. Luis is the author of “Until Tuesday” which debuted 18 on the New York Times Best Seller List for Hardcover Non-fiction Books and remained on the list for 5 weeks.

Luis shares his amazing story of the “war after the war” with invisible disabilities, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) and how his service dog, Tuesday, has given him hope and healing. Until Tuesday came into Luis’ life, he was overwhelmed by his debilitating injuries, memories and could barely leave the house due to Agoraphobia. Tuesday assists Luis with his balance, retrieves things off of the floor, reminds him to take his medications, wakes him up when he is having flashbacks, gets Luis out of the house, gives him the unconditional love we all need to give us strength and much more.

Luis has been published in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The San Francisco Chronicle, and The International Herald Tribune. Luis and Tuesday’s story has been shared on NPR, CBS, CNN, BBC, C-SPAN, National Geographic and they appeared on the Late Show with David Letterman in July (watch clip on YouTube). Luis is also a recipient of a 2011 VOICE Award presented at Paramount Studios.

Discovering they are not alone, people around the world are finding the courage to seek help and support for their invisible disabilities, after reading about Luis and Tuesday’s daily battle and triumph over hopelessness.

Don’t miss the VIP Reception with Luis and Tuesday from 4:00 pm – 5:30 pm before the Banquet. VIP Tickets now available!

Master of Ceremonies

Rick Crandall – Host of the Breakfast Club – KEZW 1430 AM

Rick has been honored for his dedication to Denver’s adult community with the Volunteers of America Special Friend Award, The Colorado Broadcasters Association Citizen Of The Year Award twice and The Colorado Broadcasters Association Harry Hoth Award for Public Service. During Rick’s 15-years at KEZW the station has been a finalist for the National Association of Broadcasters Marconi Award for Adult Standards station of the year seven times, and has won the award once. He celebrated his 5,000 show this past June. Rick was one of five finalists for the Marconi Award as Personality Of The Year. Rick is also the Colorado Freedom Memorial President.

2011 Honor Awards

Advocacy – Peter Saltonstall, President & CEO – National Organization of Rare Disorders (NORD)
Caregiver - Dave Dias, Chairman – Premiere Legacy Films – Dave’s Wife, Irene
Corporate - Kevin Custer, Founding Principal – Arc Capital Development – Autism Society – Austim Society of Colorado
Founders - David Sandusky – Your Brand Plan
Healthcare - Kent Thiry, Chairman and CEO – Davita
Impact - John C. Read, President and CEO – Association of Hole in the Wall Camps
Inspiration – Theresa Marchetta, Weekend Anchor, Investigative Reporter – 7NEWS
Medical - Cancer Treatment Centers of America
Perseverance - Margaret A. Ferrante MD
Research - David Martz, MD – International Lyme and Associated Diseases Society (ILADS)
Volunteer - Jane Brown JD LLM – Disabled people want to meetup too!

MORE FUN and EXCITING AWARENESS and ENCOURAGEMENT!
Past Evenings with IDA Amazing Past Award Recipients More Videos on Our YouTube Channel Our Radio Broadcasts Online


		ILADS

Praying For Hailey

2011-08-19T09:23:00.002-06:00

An urgent matter has come to my attention and I realized that collectively we have the power to help a little girl who desperately need us. This is a true heartbreaker, so please read.

A few months ago my friend Blair Porter (of Midas-Financial.com) introduced me to a lovely family via their blog. The 5 year old daughter, Hailey, has a rare condition that is threatening her life. After several years of repeated episodes, hospital stays, and attempts to cure or ease the problem, little Hailey has reached nearly the end of what the medical world is able to do for her comfort. It comes down now to one clinical trial that may have the power to bring her some comfort and normalcy - and of course insurance will NOT cover the medicine this poor baby needs. On their own, Blair and her fiancee Darrell have helped the family raise a large portion of the funds that are needed, unfortunately they are still about $1400 short.

Here is a link to the page on the blog that will tell you some of the history:

http://visbalfamily.blogspot.com/2009/10/haileys-hospital-hullabaloo.html

I suggest starting here and then visiting the 'home' page to read the most recent updates.

Here is the info on what they are trying to accomplish now:

-Hailey's "diagnosis" is episodic encephalopathy of unknown origin.

-If they are able to pay for the trial, Hailey would be admitted and started on the medication and would be monitored to make sure she doesn't have a reaction. After that she will be sent home and the rest will be outpatient.

-All of the appointments are in Denver. She will be monitored by her regular neurologist at PSL, her pediatrician in Stapleton then the trial team at university.

-The insurance will cover any medical care which will be any admissions or doctor appts. The cost is only for the medication.

-they will not take payments. Their reasoning is that you can not complete just part of the trial and if they take payments then people are likely to drop out if they can't afford followup appts.

-it's called flunarizine.

This is especially heart wrenching, and from what I can tell the family has already lost one child -as a mother I cannot bear the thought that they may lose another to something that may potentially be solved or eased by this treatment - or that they could come so close to help and not be able to get over the hump so to speak.

I AM CALLING ON YOU to help me find the people who are able to help Hailey. 303Network will donate profits from the sale of any showcase tables at FogoDeChao next week to Hailey's family, and I would like very much if I could count on you to help me spread the word about Hailey's plight to all four corners of the universe so to speak, and if you pray, pray passionately that not only to do the funds appear for Hailey, but that the treatment will be effective, and that what they learn from this trial will save other children from this heartbreaking condition.

Thank you for reading and helping!

Rebekah R. Welch
www.ConnectWithRebekah.com
The Colorado Connector | 303Network | Get Connected 365

Senator Calls for Day of the Deployed

2011-08-09T08:20:00.001-06:00

Read the full story and join the cause at Soldier's Angels

HOEVEN CALLS FOR NATIONAL “DAY OF THE DEPLOYED
TO RECOGNIZE SOLDIERS’ SACRIFICES

AUGUST 2, 2011 WASHINGTON – Building on his resolution as North Dakota’s governor, Senator John Hoeven introduced S. Res. 253, a resolution in the U.S. Senate to designate Oct. 26, 2011, as “Day of the Deployed” in recognition of the sacrifices of U.S. servicemen and women currently deployed around the world.

“Our men and women in uniform work tirelessly to serve our country and protect our freedoms, and we cannot do enough to thank them and their families for the sacrifices they willingly make. A national ‘Day of the Deployed’ would be a meaningful recognition of our soldiers’ dedication and the American people’s appreciation,” Hoeven said.

In North Dakota, Hoeven launched Oct. 26 as “Day of the Deployed” in 2006, in support of Soldiers’ Angels, a nonprofit organization that aids deployed American military personnel and their families. In 2010, 40 states had joined the effort, proclaiming a “Day of the Deployed.”

Hoeven is engaging other senators to support the resolution so it can pass the Senate.

###

Blue Star Museum Initiative 2011

2011-08-07T16:20:00.000-06:00

The Blue Star Museums initiative is a partnership among Blue Star Families, the National Endowment for the Arts, and more than 1,500 museums across America. First launched in the summer of 2010, Blue Star Museums once again are offering free admission to active duty military personnel and their families from Memorial Day, May 30, 2011, through Labor Day, September 5, 2011.

See participating museums:
http://www.arts.gov/national/bluestarmuseums/index2011.php?st=CO#list

U.S. Marine Surprises His Sister During College Graduation Ceremony

2011-08-06T16:42:00.000-06:00

Marines Meet Lady Gaga Music and Dance

2009-11-11T16:48:00.001-07:00

Momporium - A Showcase Of Mom Owned Businesses | Mommy Meeting

2009-03-28T09:45:00.000-06:00

Momporium - A Showcase Of Mom Owned Businesses | Mommy Meeting

Homes For Our Troops: Help a local veteran!

2009-02-12T19:48:00.000-07:00

Homes For Our Troops: Help a local veteran!

Honor, Duty, eMail: Important Reminder Regarding Military Support Groups

2009-01-23T10:06:00.000-07:00

Love how eMOM supports our troops? Give @MailOurMilitary a recommend for Follow Friday! #FollowFriday

Honor, Duty, eMail: Important Reminder Regarding Military Support Groups

American Soldier Christmas Tribute

2008-12-13T12:13:00.001-07:00

Merry Christmas Dear Soldier...P.S.--We Love You!!

2008-12-13T12:05:00.001-07:00

Christmas Just The Same~ Please remember our Military This Season!

2008-12-13T12:04:00.001-07:00

Treats for Troops

2008-11-19T09:47:00.000-07:00

Military Care Package Soldier Gift Baskets Care Package for Troops Treats for Troops

Chaplain's Online Program Gets Your Packages to Troops Most in Need

2008-11-19T09:45:00.000-07:00

Chaplain's Online Program Gets Your Packages to Troops Most in Need

Marine Mom Creed

2008-10-09T16:52:00.001-06:00

This is my Marine Son (or Daughter), there are many like him,
but this one is mine.
My son is my best friend and he is my life.

My son could never be useless. Without him, I am not useless
either, just lonely. I must keep my son safe. I must pray
harder than the mother of the enemy who is trying to kill him.
I pray that they shoot at each other and they both miss.

My son and myself and other MMO moms know that what counts
in this war is not the rounds that are fired, the noise of
their burst or the smoke they make. We know it is coming
home in one piece that counts. They will come home.

My son is human, even as I, because he is my life.
Therefore I know him like myself. I know his strengths,
his weaknesses, his thoughts, his hopes and his dreams.
I will do my best to everguard him against the ravages of
war. I was there for him before this war and I will be
there when it is over. I will.

Before God I swear this creed. My son is a defender of our
country, a master of the enemy and the center of my life.

So be it, until his five long years with the great Corp
are over and there are no more deployments, just peace
in our hearts.

US Marine Corps Forces Special Operations Command

2008-08-25T06:39:00.001-06:00

Line of Tribute; They Call Them MARINES

2008-08-16T18:31:00.000-06:00

Marine Hymn

2008-08-16T18:30:00.000-06:00

Marine Hymn

1st Outing As A MARINE!

2008-08-03T16:54:00.000-06:00

On their first outing as bonafide US Marines while awaiting graduation, my son and the boys of Echo Company are treated to a San Diego Padres game...

http://www.zimbio.com/pictures/afN7bBmCkXX/San+Francisco+Giants+v+San+Diego+Padres/mcbURanbDOq

Where Marines Are Made

2008-07-24T08:43:00.001-06:00

By kellz1227

To everyone who has or has had a loved one in boot camp:

Thousands of San Diegans drive past MCRD on the 5 freeway every day
They are on their way to work, the beach or back home.
They are going out to dinner with their family,
Going for a bike ride at the bay, picking someone up at the airport.
They are bailing someone out of jail, boarding a cruise ship,
Heading to a night at the Gaslamp.
They have their radios blaring and their eyes straight ahead when they pass it.
MCRD
Some have passed it every day and have never noticed it.
The lush trees...yellow buildings jutting through.
A field of dirt and dead grass where Marines are made.
And as cars speed by and airplanes land and take off,
life as we know it stands still at MCRD.
Life stands still yet roars by.
If the lawyer on his way to his downtown office on a crisp Monday morning turned down
the talk radio show and glanced to his right, he just might see recruits drilling.
He might see recruits drilling and running and climbing the rappel wall.
He might hear their raspy shouts.
But he doesn't.
He continues to drive, a coffee in one hand, cell phone in the other.
There is an invisible wall that separates the world from MCRD.
Millions of people pass it every year and never notice it.
The thousands of young men who sleep, eat and sweat there for 3 months
are separated from the world by a thick barrier.
Maybe that barrier is courage.
But every Friday that barrier cracks.
Families and friends pour in to MCRD to see their sons, grandsons, husbands, boyfriends, brothers, uncles, nephews, cousins and best friends for the first time in 3 months.
And when each whirlwind Friday is over, when each recruit proudly boasts the Eagle Globe and Anchor and is now a Marine, these men surge through the gates of MCRD and back into the world... whether it is ready for them or not.
Thousands of San Diegans drive past MCRD on the 5 freeway every day
They are on their way to work, the beach or back home.
They are going out to dinner with their family,
Going for a bike ride at the bay, picking someone up at the airport.
And somewhere, despite the constant roar of the airplanes, a drill instructors shouts orders to his platoon.
Somewhere, a recruit writes a heartfelt letter to his mother.
Somewhere, Marines are being made.
But the world would never know it.

A Poem by Corporal Aaron M. Gilbert for his Dad

2008-07-24T08:38:00.000-06:00

This is a poem being sent from a Marine to his Dad.
For those who take the time to read it, you'll see a letter from him to his Dad at the bottom. It makes you truly thankful for not only the Marines, but ALL of our troops.

THE MARINE

We all came together,
Both young and old.
To fight for our freedom,
To stand and be bold.

In the midst of all evil,
We stand our ground,
And we protect our country
From all terror around.

Peace and not war,
Is what some people say.
But I'll give my life,
So you can live the American way.

I give you the right
To talk of your peace,
To stand in your groups,
And protest in our streets.

But still I fight on.
I don't bitch, I don't whine.
I'm just one of the men
Who is doing your time.

I'm harder than nails,
Stronger than any machine,
I'm the immortal soldier,
I'm a U.S. MARINE!

So stand in my shoes,
And leave from your home.
Fight for the people who hate you,
With the protests they've shown.

Fight for the stranger,
Fight for the young,
So they all may have,
The great freedom you've won.

Fight for the sick,
Fight for the poor.
Fight for the cripple,
Who lives next door.

But when your time comes,
Do what I've done.
For if you stand up for freedom
You'll stand when the fight's done.

©Copyright March 23, 2003 by Corporal Aaron M. Gilbert

HEY DAD, DOWN HERE,

Do me a favor and label this "THE MARINE" and send it to everybody on your distribution list. Even leave this paragraph in it. I want this rolling all over the U.S. I want every home reading it, every eye to see it, and every heart to feel it. So can you please send this out for me? I would but I am sorta on the USS SAIPAN and my e-mail time isn't that long.

You know what Dad, I wondered what it would be like to truly understand what JFK said in his inaugural speech, "In the long history of the world, only a few generations have been granted the role of defending freedom in its hour of maximum danger. I do not shrink from this responsibility - I welcome it."

Well, now I know. And I do, Dad, I welcome the opportunity to do what I do. Even though I have left behind a beautiful wife, and I will miss the birth of our first born child, I would do it 70 times over to fight for the place that God has made for my home.

I love you all and I miss you very much. I wish I could be there when my wife has our child, but tell her that I love her, and Lord willing, I will be coming home soon.

Semper Fi
Aaron

Marine Graduation Foundation

2008-06-18T18:14:00.002-06:00

About the Marine Graduation Foundation

The men and women who choose to serve our country as a United States Marine endure more in one day of boot camp than most of us will ever experience in a lifetime, and they do this every day for 13 weeks so that you and I can sleep at night knowing they are there to protect us.

None of these men and women should ever have to be alone on the day they can proudly say, "I am a United States Marine". Sadly though, there are many Marines without their families when this day finally comes. Not every family can afford the trip to Parris Island, SC, or San Diego, CA, to share this day with their new Marine, and that is just not acceptable.

The Marine Graduation Foundation became a recognized non-profit organization in May 2005 with the help of people like yourself who chose to make a difference. We are now seeking funds to ensure that NO NEW MARINE is standing alone without the support of his or her family on Family Day and Graduation. No donation is too small and with your help, we can make Family Day, as well as the Graduation, a proud, memorable day for a man or woman who has chosen to serve our country as a United States Marine. Thank you in advance for your kindness.

If you would like to mail a donation, please make checks or money orders payable to Marine Graduation Foundation and send it to:

Marine Graduation Foundation
C/O Gretchen Miller
2837 Charles St.
St. Joseph, MO 64501

www.usmcgrad.org

Support Our Troops - $1 Campaign by MarineParents.com

2008-06-18T10:08:00.003-06:00

The post office has raised the prices for shipping flat rate boxes to $9.80 which increases MarineParents.com costs for shipping 1000 packages every 10 weeks significantly. Each summer, MarineParents.com comes up short on funds to send the care packages overseas to Marines in August. The total cost for shipping in August will be close to $10,000. They need YOUR help today!

For information please visit: http://www.marineparents.com/troops/dollar.asp

You'll be able to view the results of last year's campaign, as well as watching the progress for this year's campaign. Secure options are available on the website to make your donations.

DOD Identifies Marine Casualty

2008-06-16T13:35:00.001-06:00

The Department of Defense announced today the death of a Marine who was
supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Lance Cpl. Javier Perales Jr., 19, of San Elizario, Texas, died June 11,
from a non-hostile incident in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to 3rd
Battalion, 6th Marines, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force,
Camp Lejeune, N.C.

The incident is currently under investigation.

Our thought and prays are with Lance Corporal Perales' family.

Take Just One Minute

2008-06-16T07:25:00.003-06:00

Take just one minute and view this beautiful reminder...

MCFSC Pays Tribute to Marine Dads this Father's Day:

2008-06-13T12:20:00.000-06:00

MCFSC Pays Tribute to Marine Dads this Father's Day:
By Charlie Carter

In my life I've had the opportunity to watch many sorts of conflicts,
both small and large, from two or three people arguing over a
seemingly trivial matter, to world powers arguing over nuclear
proliferation, to conflicts between nations, including our own, that
grow into full military engagement. Through them all, I've had the
luxury of observing them from afar, usually making some sort of
judgment as to who is right and who is wrong, but from a comfortable
distance. This essay is not about world conflict on a global scale;
it is about conflict at the micro level. To describe as best as I
can, what it is like for the people who hold the honor of being
parents to the men and women who don't talk about the world's
problems, they go solve them. To describe what it's like to be the
proud parents of a U.S. Marine.

It is a well known fact that one's perspective changes depending on
their personal involvement in the issue; when you have, as they
say, "skin in the game". When Brad called me in the spring of 2006 to
tell me that he signed an intention to join the Marine Corps, I
almost burst with pride. He had actually been listening all those
years when I talked about things like achievement, hard work, and
making a diifference. In one quick sentence, he proved it. "I joined
the Marines Dad." Over the next several months while Brad was
preparing his body, Debbie and I were preparing our souls. Like it or
not, Brad was becoming a Marine, and Marines go to war.

Gradually we grew to know other parents who also have children in the
Marine Corps, as well as meeting many current and former Marines (I
know, there are no ex-Marines) and began learning the never ending
language of acronyms and alternate verbiage such as portal for door
and cover for hat. As the son of a sailor, I was already somewhat
familiar with military family life, but this was different. Marine
families are tight with each other, and passionate about the work
their family members do. We learned about the process of boot camp
and what to expect when your child finishes with it, and what
graduation day will be like, but none of it prepares you for what you
actually see. I watched Brad leave for Parris Island as an insecure
adolescent, and met him again on April 11, 2007 as a fully matured,
self confident man. As we walked together from the parade grounds to
his barracks to retreive his things, it struck me that our
relationship had just evolved from parent-child to a much more
complex one, in less than a 2-mile walk. He'd done it. He'd grown up,
and my job had shifted. I was now there to cover his back while he
covered the rest of ours; and to be his friend.

The next step was that he reported to Camp Lejuene for Infantry
School, and then to his more permanent position as a SAW operator for
the 2nd LAR (more acronyms), and this gave us a few months to come to
grips emotionally with what was about to happen. He was going to
Iraq, and to war. We got frequent phone calls to talk about what his
training was like, discussed his finances, we made arrangements for
vacations. He had a couple of block leaves, so he came to Columbus
for a couple short trips, like Christmas. Well, almost Christmas. We
had Christmas the week after Christmas because of a unique
timekeeping system that's used in the military that seems to have
little relationship to standard calendars. In January, he headed out
to California for desert training and then one quick trip to Columbus
before heading back to Lejuene for final deployment preparations.

March 18, 2008 was a day like every other day but for one thing. I
was scared. Really scared. Brad was deploying that afternoon. I tied
a small yellow ribbon around the tree out front, and tried to go
about my day, but the fear was there no matter what I did. I tried
not to show it because I knew that Debbie was having an even tougher
time with this than I am, and I didn't want her to think anything was
unusual. I didn't want her wondering why I was afraid; or thinking
that I knew something she didn't. Brad called two or three times that
day, and even had his picture taken by some supporters in Maine which
they sent to us, but then he was gone and we wouldn't hear from him
again for a few days. Once in Kuwait, we got the call from him to let
us know that he was there safely and would soon be heading into Iraq
on a helicopter, and we probably wouldn't hear from him for a week or
so. I think the few days between Kuwait and Iraq were some of the
worst. This is the period where I really started to adjust to
deployment. Wondering how and how often we would be able to
communicate, wondering if he had everything he needed, jumping every
time an unfamiliar car drove down our street, hoping that they would
drive past.

Then, in mid-April, while driving in my car, the words that every
military parent dreads to hear came across the radio. "Central Oho
Marine killed in Iraq." My stomach flew into my throat and I nearly
threw up. That sentence and the events of the next several hours
define for me what it's like to be the parent of a Marine. The rest
of the day was spent in abject terror, waiting for the Department of
Defense to release the name of the Marine. My mind was consumed with
trying to put together pieces of the puzzle. "Brad called yesterday
from Korean Village, 150 miles away from the suicide attack, is it
possible that he could have made the trip to that area since the call
or is he probably still at KV?; Possible, but not likely, I decided.
It didn't help. "Brad enlisted in Pennsylvania, while staying with
his uncle, is it possible that they still have that as his address?
No, I changed his permanent address to Columbus several months
ago. "Why aren't they releasing the name? I knew the answer to that
one already of course; we were waiting for next of kin to be
notified. I also prayed that no strange cars would make their way
into the neighborhood that day. Please God, no dress blues today.
Finally the DOD posted the names on their website of the Central Ohio
Marine and two others who had been killed with him by a suicide
bomber. I stared at the short list for what seemed like an eternity.
Brad's name wasn't on the list. What do you do with that information?
What is the proper emotion to feel when you're relieved that your
child is alive, but someone else's is not? I cried...hard.
Afterwards, I tucked the emotions away as deep as I could into my
soul, then prayed again. This time for the fallen Marines and their
families, who I would never meet, but with whom I have so much in
common; and then I began to prepare myself for the next time this
would happen, because it will. That, I think is the essence of having
a child at war. All the world's conflicts and difficulties are
reduced to their most basic element with two words: "Marine
Killed..." That is what it's like to be the proud parent of a United
States Marine.

After writing this essay, which was originally intended to give a
sense of what it is like to be a military parent to someone who is
not, I was asked if I could expand on it a little for families who
are new to having a child make the decision to join the military, or
even those who are a bit more "old hat" as to how I try to deal with
things on a day to day basis while my son is deployed. I can only
speak from personal experience, and even some of the things that are
hellpful to me are not helpful to my wife. Different people deal with
stress in different ways, and I think that the most important thing
that I can do is try to recognize that and be respectful of it. My
wife also has a child at war, and my two other children have a
brother at war, and it affects them all differently Talking about it
openly is important, but recognizing the different ways we cope with
it, I think is the key. My wife doesn't like war movies right now and
I do, for instance. So I try to turn them off if she's around. I'm
not perfect, but I try.

The next most important thing to do, I think is to really try and
understand your Marine. He or she had a reason for enlisting and it's
probably deeper than you think. They may not even have discussed it
before, but it's there. Understanding their motivation is a big part
to developing a deep and permanent relationship with them. They have
taken the first step on a major journey in their life, and you have
been invited. You may need to spend some time looking at things
through your child's eyes. They are also forging bonds right now that
you will never fully be a part of and that will outlive you. "Once a
Marine, Always a Marine" is not a catchy statement, it's for real.
You don't need to feel threatened by that, just know that it's there.
I stated earlier that the Marine family is tight and I would urge you
to take advantage of the support that is available. All Marines and
their families, past or present, are considered to be part of this
family. That's part that you can share, and it is an amazing family.
Any Marine or Marine parent will answer just about any question that
you can ask, openly and honestly. I can't tell you how many
conversations I've had in parking lots and shopping centers with
total strangers who wore veteran hats or t-shirts.

Get involved! One of my favorite activities in the world right now is
going to MCFSC HQ on the Wednesday night before packing night and
getting items ready for Friday's big night. I always think of The
Waltons and how that community came together to help each other
during the dark days of World War II. Okay, that's fiction, but I've
spent enough time talking to my grandparents to know that's what
happened in real life too. Guess what?! It's still happening and we
need people to help If you really want to help your Marine, help
other Marines. He or she has a bond with them, remember? There is
plenty of stuff that needs to be done, and all you need to do is ask.
You'll feel better, trust me. I also like to get really involved in
my Marine's personal affairs as much as I can. I manage his finances
and bills for instance. When he mentions he needs gloves or a K-Bar,
I just go buy it. He got dress blues for his birthday, stuff like
that. They have enough to worry about and they don't make much money,
so it's one more item off his plate. I also call his girlfriend and
check in on her from time to time. She's a part of the family too,
and she needs to feel as welcome in my home as Brad.

Learn the language. MOS, MEU, LES, E-3 and MCMAP--what does it all
mean? Where is Lejuene, Pendleton or Korean Village? Why can't I say
Hat; and when the hell is 1315? Marines, as a rule, do NOT speak
English. Most of the time, they don't even speak words. They speak in
acronyms and codes when they're really happy, they grunt and make a
sound like Ooh-Rah! The more you learn, the more fun you'll have in
your new family. Yes we have fun. We're all carrying a heavy load,
but as a group, we can handle it and even let our hair down a little.

Just don't let Roger near a Kareoke machine!

Be proud. Be very proud. There aren't too many kids who have the
courage to do what your Marine is doing. "The Few, The Proud" is
another one of those catchy slogans that actually isn't just a catchy
slogan. They are serious about that, and you should share that pride.
The history of human beings has been one bad guy after another. My
grandparents had the Kaiser and Hitler. My parents had Hitler and
Stalin, we grew up under the threat of nuclear holocaust, and our
kids have terrorism. The cycle just keeps repeating, evil rises, evil
is conquered, and it is unlikely to ever stop.

But, thanks to your child, it it unlikely to come HERE!

SLEEP WELL AMERICA, OUR MARINES HAVE YOUR BACK

A Cool Meeting

2008-06-11T08:14:00.001-06:00

We haven't heard anything from our son yet this week - but I think we have figured out that we should get our letters on Thursday if he writes on Sunday. I have had one of my letters returned already for postage - seems I was .16 cents short - apparently I stuffed more in that little envelope than I thought!

Rumor has it there is a strong focus on cleaning in boot camp! I'm so glad to ehar it - I used to tell my son it wasn't just me - that other people also refused to live in squalor (wink)!

I had my very first POSITIVE experience yesterday of having someone purposely approach me because of the "Proud Parent" sticker on my car! Guy came to my door, told me "I noticed your sticker - son or daughter?" I told him, he rips up his sleeve to display a huge USMC tattoo on his arm. Apparently he lives close by and wanted to connect with us and have us tell our child Thank You. He's now retired (Vietnam), but says the Marine family is just that - family - forever - and welcome to the family! That was just really cool! Anyhow, that has inspired me, and I bought a bunch of Thank You cards yesterday. My first stop will be the guys in my son's platoon - the ones I know of - and my next will by our recruiter's station. Most of they guys over there have been to Iraq at least once, and many lost people or suffered injuries there. I feel moved to tell them that I really do appreciate it, and God Bless their Moms & Dads!

Blessings to all!

HP Tech Support and Repairs FREE FOR DEPLOYED MILITARY

2008-06-10T12:34:00.000-06:00

Hewlett Packard has a department called American Forces Overseas that will give FREE tech support to any military deployed overseas - EVEN IF YOUR LAPTOP IS NO LONGER UNDER WARRANTY!!!!!

Call HP - 800-474-6836 - ask for the American Forces Overseas department and they will work with your command to get the laptop shipped home for free and make repairs. If it is simply tech support you need - they give it free over the phone. If you're HOME you must pay for it but it is less than regular tech support.

Some Interesting Stuff That Didn't Make The News

2008-06-07T10:54:00.002-06:00

This was recently shared with me by another Marine family. I do not know where it orginated from or what the actual date of original distribution was, but I thought it was definitely worth the read regardless of when...

Subject: Some Interesting Facts

From the Commanding Officer at MWSS-171 to his Marines;

Accomplishments that never make the news:

Marines and Sailors,

As we approach the end of the year I think it is important to

share a few thoughts about what you've accomplished directly, in some cases,

and indirectly in many others. I am speaking about what the Bush

Administration and each of you has contributed by wearing the uniform, because

the fact that you wear the uniform contributes 100% to the capability of the

nation to send a few onto the field to execute national policy. As you read

about these achievements you are a part of I would call your attention to two

things:

1. This is good news that hasn't been fit to print or report on

TV.

2. It is much easier to point out the errors a man makes when he

makes the tough decisions, rarely is the positive as aggressively pursued.

Since President Bush declared an end to major combat on May 1...

... the first battalion of the new Iraqi Army has graduated and

is on active duty.

... over 60,000 Iraqis now provide security to their fellow

citizens.

... nearly all of Iraq's 400 courts are functioning.

... the Iraqi judiciary is fully independent.

... on Monday, October 6 power generation hit 4,518

megawatts-exceeding the prewar average.

... all 22 universities and 43 technical institutes and colleges

are open, as are nearly all primary and secondary schools.

... by October 1, Coalition forces had rehab-ed over 1,500

schools, 500 more than scheduled.

... teachers earn from 12 to 25 times their former salaries.

... all 240 hospitals and more than 1200 clinics are open.

... doctors salaries are at least eight times what they were

under Saddam.

... pharmaceutical distribution has gone from essentially

nothing to 700 tons in May to a current total of 12,000 tons.

... the Coalition has helped administer over 22 million

vaccinations to Iraq's children.

... a Coalition program has cleared over 14,000 kilometers

of Iraq's

... 27,000 kilometers of weed-choked canals which now irrigate

tens of thousands of farms. This project has created jobs for more than 100,000

Iraqi men and women.

... we have restored over three-quarters of prewar telephone

services and over two-thirds of the potable water production.

... there are 4,900 full-service telephone connections. We

expect 50,000 by year-end.

... the wheels of commerce are turning. From bicycles to

satellite dishes to cars and trucks, businesses are coming to life in all major cities

and towns.

... 95 percent of all prewar bank customers have service and

first-time customers are opening accounts daily.

.. Iraqi banks are making loans to finance businesses.

... the central bank is fully independent.

... Iraq has one of the worlds most growth-oriented investment

and banking laws.

... Iraq has a single, unified currency for the first time in

15 years.

... satellite TV dishes are legal.

... foreign journalists aren't on 10-day visas paying

mandatory and extortionate fees to the Ministry of Information for "minders" and other

government spies.

... there is no Ministry of Information.

.. there are more than 170 newspapers.

... you can buy satellite dishes on what seems like every street

corner.

... foreign journalists (and everyone else) are free to come

and go.

... a nation that had not one single element - legislative,

judicial or executive of a representative government, now does.

... in Baghdad alone residents have selected 88

advisory councils. Baghdad's first

democratic transfer of power in 35 years happened when the

city council elected its new chairman.

... today in Iraq chambers of commerce, business, school and

professional organizations are electing their leaders all over the country.

... 25 ministers, selected by the most representative governing

body in Iraq's history, run the day-to-day business of government.

... the Iraqi government regularly participates in

international events.

Since July the Iraqi government has been represented in over two

dozen international meetings, including those of the UN General Assembly, the

Arab League, the World Bank and IMF and, today, the Islamic Conference Summit.

The Ministry of Foreign Affairs today announced that it is reopening over 30

Iraqi embassies around the world.

... Shia religious festivals that were all but banned, aren't.

... for the first time in 35 years, in Karbala thousands

of Shiites celebrate the pilgrimage of the 12th Imam.

... the Coalition has completed over 13,000 reconstruction

projects, large and small, as part of a strategic plan for the reconstruction of Iraq.

... Uday and Queasy are dead - and no longer feeding innocent

Iraqis to the zoo lions,

raping the young daughters of local leaders to force

cooperation, torturing Iraq's soccer players for losing games, or murdering critics

... children aren't imprisoned or murdered when their parents

disagree with the government.

... political opponents aren't imprisoned, tortured, executed,

maimed, or are forced to watch their families die for disagreeing with Saddam.

... millions of longsuffering Iraqis no longer live

in perpetual terror.

... Saudis will hold municipal elections.

... Qatar is reforming education to give more choices to

parents.

... Jordan is accelerating market economic reforms.

... the Nobel Peace Prize was awarded for the first time to an

Iranian

...A Muslim woman who speaks out with courage for human rights,

for democracy and for peace.

... Saddam is gone.

.. Iraq is free.

... President Bush has not faltered or failed.

...Yet, little or none of this information has been published

by the Press corps that prides itself on bringing you all the news that's important.

Iraq under US lead control has come further in six months than

Germany did in seven years or Japan did in nine years following WWII. Military

deaths from fanatic Nazi's, and Japanese numbered in the thousands and

continued for over three years after WWII victory was declared. It took the US

over four months to clear away the twin tower debris, let alone attempt to

build something else in its place.

Now, take into account that Congress fought President Bush on

every aspect of his handling of this country's war and the post-war

reconstruction; and that they continue to claim on a daily basis on national

TV that this conflict has been a failure.

Taking everything into consideration, even the unfortunate loss of

our brothers and sisters in this conflict, do you think anyone else in the

world could have accomplished as much as the United States and the Bush

administration in so short a period of time?

These are things worth writing about. Get the word out. Write to

someone you think may be able to influence our Congress or the press to tell

the story.

Above all, be proud that you are a part of this historical

precedent.

God Bless you all.

Semper Fidelis

Semper Fidelis (Poem & Hymn)

2008-06-04T18:53:00.000-06:00

by David Tanguay

Tread through the rain marine - the corps supplies us with ponchos

Surviving through the monsoon season - we've learned to be quite macho

Our ponchos serve not only our body but it also becomes our home when we settle

In during a rainy night

We all hope the following day will bring us the sunlight

Through the hot summer season, we watch our buddies passing out from heat stroke

We load them on choppers and send them to a cooler atmosphere, “hey buddy - got a smoke?”

We never know when all hell could break loose; suddenly men are dying, as a battle is under way

As we fight our foe, we always manage to say a prayer that we make it through the day

Living through the journey of a leatherneck in Vietnam, the word semper fidelis is inscribed on our heart

A Latin word meaning “always faithful” Semper Fi -- good buddy we are a united part.

In a civilized atmosphere, don’t expect our attire to be tuxedos, ties and sipping vermouth

For we are known to make some noise and you’ll find our manners to be quite uncouth

Yes, they say once a marine always a marine, for it takes a tough man to become one of us

But when a marine calls you, friend you can be assured - he’ll be a friend you can trust

graduated from boot camp: August 31, 1967

The Marine Corps Hymn

From the Halls of Montezuma
To the Shores of Tripoli;
We fight our country's battles
In the air, on land and sea;

First to fight for right and freedom
And to keep our honor clean;
We are proud to claim the title
of United States Marine.

Our flag's unfurled to every breeze
From dawn to setting sun;
We have fought in ev'ry clime and place
Where we could take a gun;

In the snow of far-off Northern lands
And in sunny tropic scenes;
You will find us always on the job--
The United States Marines.

Here's health to you and to our Corps
Which we are proud to serve
In many a strife we've fought for life
And never lost our nerve;

If the Army and the Navy
Ever look on Heaven's scenes;
They will find the streets are guarded
By United States Marines.

Originally published on SearchWarp.com for David Tanguay Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Article Source: “Semper Fidelis” (Poem & Hymn)

Wasn't Expecting THAT!

2008-05-23T16:06:00.000-06:00

I am officially an enormous boob! I THOUGHT I was doing pretty awesome at getting adjusted here - I have "the message" on my phone that I refer to frequently, I have my 'matrix' that shows me all the stuff my son is doing that I know HE will think is "fun", I finally go the plt # from the recruiter (no form letter yet), I am able to discuss "Marine stuff" with loved ones and be happy about it..so I was sideswiped today when I went to the grocery store!

As I approached there were VFW's out front taking donations. Now that I'm an "MM" (military mom) people in armed forced garb stand out to me from a mile away - I notice them before any of my friends or family and ususally can tell what branch by the attire from a reasonable distance. This is all new to me so I am in the "information gathering" phase and have made it my mission to locate every possible resource for Marine/Military families and learn everything about the corps my brain will hold. I know none of you guys get this (wink wink!). This said I feel I've put my "big girl pants on" and bellied up to the bar so to speak.

I made eye contact with the veteran at the table who was clearly beyond 70yo and offered a hearfelt and sincere "Good Morning" and "God Bless" which was immediately returned along with a smile. Having no cash on my person I proceeded to enter the store to pick up the items for my 4yo's preschool grad party today.

About two steps past the donation table it hit me full force in the gut - he was a VETERAN, my son is in BOOT CAMP, he is GONE, there is a WAR, this is REAL. I was immediately totally overcome with sobs and hyperventilating and paralyzed with emotion! OMG!!!!

I literally ran to the back of the store to dodge curious onlookers. It seemed the only logical solution was to run out there and throw my arms around this man and THANK HIM for his service and vomit my whole new recruit mom fear experience all over his beautiful suit leaving tears and snot everywhere for the whole glorious world to see.

After I pulled myself together a little bit I realized this could be potentially embarassing when they called security to remove the crazy lady that had tackled the VFW, so I elected to just offer a nice calm "Thank you - I appreciate your sacrifice - God Bless" as I left the store.

The closer I got to being done with my task the more difficult it got to go toward the door. I was completely overcome with the realization that if I looked at this man again I would not be able to control my emotional outburst and literally had to force myself to exit - and to accomplish that I had to turn my head away and run to my car.

Once I got inside the vehicle I had an all out breakdown complete with dry heaving on my sobs. I tried calling hubby - no answer, tried calling daughter - no answer. I pulled it together and left the parking lot only to find that there was almost literally a soldier on every corner in dress - apparently some event for the holiday weekend that they were preparing for that I didn't know about, and as I spied each one I was washed in flood of sadness for every mom who has ever lost a child to war, for every soldier that has been spit on or treated poorly by oblivious "hippies" who couldn't make the connection that these servants preserved their right to act that way, for every ill educated dork who has ever grimaced at a new recruits mom and said "I'm sorry" when we shared that our kid was going to be a soldier - it all just came bursting out!

Finally I got hubby on the phone and got a grip. I was completely shocked that something SO INNOCENT would affect me in such a HUGE way. I am PROUD, I am CONFIDENT in my son, his decision, and the USMC, I VALUE my freedom and THANK GOD that somebody is willing to fight for it 'cuz I'm a chicken - I can't think of anything more honorable. And as my hubby reminds me, this isn't any different than if he were a cop, astronaut, or fireman - I JUST WASN'T EXPECTING THAT!!!

Sponsor a Blanket For A Deployed Daddy

2008-05-23T14:03:00.001-06:00

Blankets for Deployed Daddies has more requests for blankets than we can fill because we just don't have the resources to purchase supplies and ship the blankets. Won't you please donate a few dollars (or even a few more than a few) to support our cause. It's our goal to make sure that no baby is born without a hug and kiss from daddy.

Each blanket costs $20 to produce, package, and ship. Your name and email address can be included in the package of a blanket if you desire.

DONATE TO BLANKETS FOR DEPLOYED DADDIES...

Keep The Frontline Going With Military Auctions

2008-05-21T15:17:00.000-06:00

When a country is in need of support, it becomes apparent that everyday citizens everywhere take a stand to fight for just rights and causes all from home. But some have taken the idea of this support and run with it, by finding ways to support our troops through everyday shopping.

How Military Auctions Work

Military auctions are a new idea that has been making its rounds across the Internet. Most Internet users have used or have heard of eBay, but as we all know, eBay is a proprietary company with no moral obligation to any one particular country 's frontline.

But where eBay can't make patriotic contributions to military operation, other good citizens have created the concept of military auctions. Online auctions have become the new way that families buy products online- often even replacing trips to the local store. So if even a small percentage of Internet auction sales are contributed to the military, the resulting some is quite large.

It 's important to note that unlike other charities that associate with retail, there is usually no markup on prices. This means that finding the cheapest prices on the Internet for jewelry, cheap clothing, books, antiques, and more is possible- all while benefiting one 's national military!

Because of the lack of markup, and because of the convenience, there is no reason that the military shouldn't have our support in this case. If we aren't giving any extra money out of our pockets for items we would normally buy anyway, why not side with a charitable auction that donates money help a common cause?

What Military Auctions Benefit

Military auctions benefit a number of things. First, individual troops that lack necessary Kevlar gear or even vital safety equipment will see benefit. In essence, using military auctions instead of general auctions such as eBay can save the lives of soldiers everywhere.

The idea of saving one 's life through a simple auction is incredible- but the benefit doesn't stop there. Soldiers live a very difficult life they are deployed overseas in foreign nations that may seem frightening. Military forces often hold events, in this case, to help improve morale. Benefit concerts, comedy shows, and other forms of stress relief are funded as a way of saying thanks to our troops. With every online military auction bid, one is keeping our troops comforted as well as safe in dangerous times.

Lastly, military auctions help soldiers who receive injury. Injured soldiers can take benefit of some plans offered by most governments, but once that money runs out, they are often left to fend for themselves. To help alleviate the strain, military auctions can give injured soldiers both a peace of mind and the necessary foothold to get started with their life again.

Final Thoughts on Military Auctions

Military auctions are quickly becoming the relief to the lack of military donations. After initial military donations are given, it 's hard to keep citizens aware and active within military support. Military auctions seek to fix this fact by donating to the cause where consumers won't even pay any extra money out of their pocket.

Without patriotic services such as military auctions, we'd have more casualties, injuries, and unhappy soldiers on our hands. Luckily, the ideas of a few patriotic individuals overturns these shortcomings of military campaigns and keeps nations running smoothly not to mention it keeps our soldiers safe and sound.

Support our troops with Alternative Online Auctions and Custom Challenge Coins

From Lubbock Marine Parents: To All Military Moms

2008-05-16T14:16:00.001-06:00

From Lubbock Marine Parents: To All Military Moms

"Dear God,

Tonight I ask as a mother to bless my child as I do every night, but now I am reminding you this is a special child. This child helps to provide a blanket of protection that we as Americans slumber under each night. He has decided to give his life to protect this great country of ours, and before now there was always prayer for you to watch over this child but after the terror that has struck our U.S. soil, I feel even stronger, more pleading as I pray to you. This child loves God and country and has sworn to protect her inhabitants. But, this is still my child who I have sworn to protect with MY life until the day I die. Now I need your help more than ever. He is no longer in my reach, but can only be reached by your hand to protect him. He may be on the oceans, above the earth or in lands foreign and hostile to him, please God, keep him safe and bring him home to me…alive and soon. Let this horrendous terror go away. Let us find peace and keep these special children alive and safe to teach future generations how important life is and how important it is to protect it. They are a rare breed, and we are the mothers who have helped to raise them. Now we are the mothers who ask for your help to protect them. Please bless all the mother’s children of the world, but please remember I am a military mother and am asking you to take special care of this special child.

I ask this in the name of your precious son Jesus, Amen."

Check out "Knit for "Blankets for Deployed Daddies"" on Link to Share...

2008-05-15T17:57:00.000-06:00

Link to Share

Helping People in Colorado Help Their Community

Connector

Connector wants you to check out the discussion 'Knit for "Blankets for Deployed Daddies"'...

Connector says...

Check out "Knit for "Blankets for Deployed Daddies"" on Link to Share!

Thanks,

- Connector

Discussion posted by Wendy Howard:

be still & knit is donating scent-keeping blankets for deployed troops who are expecting a newborn during their deployment. Volunteer...

Discussion link:

http://linktoshare.ning.com/forum/topic/show?id=2104368%3ATopic%3A21&xgs=1

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The Graceful Art of Defrazzling – for Mothers

2008-04-08T14:05:00.000-06:00

I wipe my baby's chin with my college diploma and wonder, 'How did I ever get here?'"

-- Joy Rose from the band "Housewives on Prozac"

I'm sure any mom on the planet can relate to that quote and the sense of exhaustion and bewilderment that it implies. Let's face it, ladies, after cooking, cleaning, caring, chauffeuring, and "career-ing" we're pretty frazzled - physically, emotionally, spiritually and intellectually. We dream of lives we don't believe we will ever be able to live, long to go away on a luxury vacation we will probably never be able to afford, or struggle to just put life on "pause" long enough to refuel before we have to tackle that next mountain of laundry. Unfortunately, those dreams look pretty hopeless, this side of the stack of dirty dishes in the sink.

The Graceful Art of Defrazzling means learning to live our lives in moments and seasons. Living in moments means that we must learn to take small amounts of time each day to refresh our souls, laugh, breathe deeply, express gratitude, and rejoice over our children and husbands - especially on the bad days! We need to look for natural pauses in our days: waiting at a stop light or in a grocery store line; while we wait for the pot to boil; right after the kids go down for their naps - and other little breaks in our day - to take a brief vacation from drudgery.

We need to use these moments to stop and look for small, present things to cherish: the golden curls on our toddler's head; the warm sunshine outside; the sound of children's laughter; the feel of a baby's soft skin; the taste of a perfectly brewed cup of quality tea.

We need to use little pauses in our day to take baby steps toward our bigger goals like tucking five dollars away for future dreams, skimming great books for deeper inspiration, or glancing at pictures of our ideal life and dreaming a little.

We may not be able to get away for a month long vacation, but if we take little five-minute vacations every day, we will find ourselves more relaxed and available for our families. We may not have time or money to become a world class professional pastry chef right now, but we can get a book out of the library on gourmet desserts and throw a surprise together for tonight's supper. A week on a beach may be an impossible dream, but we can drop the kids off at friend's house and go sit on a park bench in the sunshine for an hour.
We need to look for moments, but we must also live in seasons. Living in seasons means we need to remember that what we are experiencing now is not what we will experience forever. When the kids are really young and we're not getting any sleep, knowing that this is temporary is helpful. We may not have time for anything right now except for survival - but if we're using our moments to prepare for the next season while we learn to get through this one, things will be different.

Seasons enable us to cope with today, but also look to the future. They enable us to see past the spilled supper on the floor ,and the terrible two's, to a time when things will be calmer. Living in seasons also enables us to take the time we need to create and cherish special moments with our family. Instead of rushing from feeding the baby to cleaning out the basement, or brushing off our child's request to "come and see!" so that we can get dinner started, we'll realize that this season is but a brief drop in the bucket of time and that it will soon be over. Dinner and cleaning can usually wait while we connect in a special way with our family members. We need to recognize the season we're in, and learn to deal with each season in a way that creates a solid foundation for the next one.
So the next time you're wearily folding laundry, give thanks for the person each item belongs to, say a prayer for them, cherish a special memory you have of them - or plan to create a new one, and remember that "this too, shall pass".

This is the graceful art of De-frazzling - for mothers.

Darlene Hull

Darlene is the creator of the free “Mom-Defrazzler tool” - 52 Tips for Moms to get from Chaos to Calm in One Year and the “Merry Moms” newsletter, a weekly humour e-zine to help moms defrazzle with laughter. You can download this tool and newsletter on her website at: www.mom-defrazzler.com .

Mommy Whisperer

2008-04-05T14:01:00.000-06:00

Using simple techniques Moms can learn how easily they can whisper relaxing phrases to their babies during pregnancy, delivery, and post-partum.

Dr. Linda Miles, inspires and instructs Moms, using a practical, proven effective method, which calms both the child and Mom, while building a stronger emotional and physical bond between the two. And Dads can join in, too.

When Moms are anxious, babies feel that anxiety. Research has shown that a stressed Mom creates a stressed baby, causing the fetus’ heart to beat faster. When levels of stress hormones are too high for extended periods of time, both Mom and the baby’s mental and physical health suffer.

In 1973 Dr. Miles used natural childbirth with her son, Christopher Brett. She found Lamaze helpful, but after that pregnancy she wanted an even more stress free birth. She wanted less stress for both her and her child.

Quickly, she realized the tremendous benefit listening with headphones to individually recorded, soothing music with a familiar voice would have. Here was a simple way to remind her to relax.

When she was a bundle of nerves, there was an easy comfort with just the flip of a switch. Then, she could share, gently whispering, what she heard with her baby. To her surprise the relaxation practice brought deep calm not only to her, but to baby Brett, too.

With her initial personal success as a Mommy Whisperer, Dr. Miles studied and has used these relaxation techniques successfully for over 30 years with her clients and friends. After the stress of the pregnancy with her first child, a client of Dr. Miles used the Mommy Whisperer technique for her second child with entirely different results. She was calm throughout the experience, with less stress on her.

Therefore, there was less stress on her child. She had a peaceful pregnancy and delivery. Because Mommy Whisperer's reduce stress on themselves and their child, they can enhance the mother-child bond after the baby is born.

Using simple relaxation strategies, parents actually affect the physical structure of the baby's developing brain. The patterns we learn, affect how we cope with stress and with life.

While soothing her baby, Mom is actually teaching her child to self-soothe. When you soothe your baby with whispers, they may develop a pattern of self-soothing that works under stress.

And the opposite happens too. If Mom or anyone is loud and reactive under stress, the child develops that pattern and responds that way to stress. The brain loves the familiar, so how we train our children, becomes their coping strategy.

So, whisper to your child, "I am so happy you are here." “I love you so much.” “You are so beautiful.” “Everything is okay.” This gives them safety to learn and explore.

Author, Dr. Linda Miles, is deeply committed to helping individuals and couples achieve rewarding relationships. She is an expert witha Doctorate in Counseling Psychology, and has worked in the mental health field for over thirty years. Find more relationship ideas and relaxation techniques on her web site and in the award-winning book she co-authored, The New Marriage: Transcending the Happily-Ever-After Myth, and on CD, Train Your Brain: For a Peaceful Pregnancy & Delivery. drlindamiles.com

Mom Stress Relief: Stress Management Strategies For Mom

2008-04-03T17:02:00.001-06:00

Moms are the busiest people on the planet. From getting the kids off to school to going to basketball games to overseeing sleepovers, in addition to the moms who also work outside the home, a mom's feet never seem to stay still.

Mom stress is like no other stress and can impact on many areas of life such as work, family, and other relationships. Stress can cause Mom to experience frustration, have a short fuse, and lack of focus. For busy moms, stress management is a fundamental need.

Here are eight tips that can put some calm back in your day:

1. Make time for you. Without the kids. Its very important to maintain your own sense of self and sometimes this can be difficult to do when you never actually have any 'you' time. This could be losing yourself in a great short story or wandering the shops at the mall or making time for a pedicure. Whatever you think of when you think of a treat is what you need to organize.

2. Listen to calm, soothing music on the way to work, while at work, and while going to sleep. Music has a way of calming and soothing the mind body.

3. Practice deep abdominal breathing periodically throughout the day. Breath in deeply through the nose pulling the belly button toward the spine, hold for a few seconds, and then slowly release. Busy moms will be pleasantly surprised at how this simple technique can result in a more relaxed body and mind.

4. Exercise Needs To Be A Priority. Exercise is a great way to relieve stress and manage your energy levels. It doesn't have to be a big deal. It could be bouncing on a mini trampoline while the kids watch TV or going for a walk or just deliberately parking further away so you get the chance to squeeze in a walk.

5. Eat Healthy. There are foods that promote calmness as well as foods that increase stress levels. Busy moms should ask themselves if they are consuming too much sugar or caffeine, and if they are getting enough protein. Eating fresh fruits and vegetables and staying away from refined and processed foods also help. Healthy eating is very important for any busy mom. Taking a look at your eating habits and making the necessary changes can result in increased optimal health.

6. Call a friend. It is always important to have at least one relationship where Mom can just vent and know that a listening ear and unconditional acceptance will be given.

7. Practice Thinking Calmly. Everyone has a favorite place that is peaceful, soothing, and calm. When stress levels increase, busy moms can take a mental break and visualize that special place. Mom can take note of the sights, sounds, and smells. It is important to continue to do this until relaxation is felt. Busy moms will notice that their stress level will be lower as well as more manageable.

8. Have a sense of humor. We all are familiar with the saying, "Laughter is the best medicine." This is so true! Be willing to laugh at personal mistakes, or a toddler's antics. Watch a funny movie. Share a joke with a friend. Lighten up! It will make such a difference.

Any busy mom can follow the above eight tips for a more stress-free life!

Moms need stress relief just like everyone else and now there is a site dedicated to moms that need some time out: http://www.momstressrelief.com is custom built for mothers to help them find proven stress management strategies just for them.

Baby Shower for Mom and the Ladies

2008-03-31T19:38:00.000-06:00

Baby Shower for Moms who just wanna have fun! This type of baby shower is not the only type of shower given today. Traditionally, baby showers have been thrown for mommy-to-be and the guest list was strictly women.

These days, many families choose to have different types of showers, including back-yard barbecues to include the men. These are a nice idea since they remember that Daddy is a part of the new baby’s life, too.

But there is something to be said for a Sunday afternoon gathering of women to ooh and aah over Mommy’s belly without disparaging looks from the men. One reason to plan a baby shower for mom only.

When you have only women at the shower, you have the opportunity to really "girl it up", so to speak, at your baby shower for Mom. You can do really girlie things and not have to worry about the men being bored or embarrassed.

Here are a few suggestions for making a shower extra-girlish: Have Tea and Cake. Find a few really pretty tea sets and order little delectables like petit fours, tea cakes or maybe bring a cookie basket. Drink your tea like ladies, with pinky finger sticking up!

See if you can find pretty lace doilies for napkins. Pick up some baby shower party favors to go along with your ladies only party. You might even want to fake a British accent, dahling!

At your baby shower for mom and the ladies only, let them all be pregnant. Maybe purchase some baby shower decorations to match the pregnant theme. The guys definitely wouldn’t go for this!

Ask each guest to come with a pillow or other make shift stuffing to pretend that she is pregnant, too. Give a prize to the most authentic pregnant lady (excluding the guest of honor, of course) at your baby shower for Mom. You can pick up the prizes at any local party favor store or online party favor supply site.

Have everyone tell a story from their childbirth experience, or, if they have never had any children, let them rehash the stories their mothers told them ("I was in labor for 72 hours with you..."). Be sure there is a mixture of funny, touching, and gruesome stories to round it out.

Decorate with extra-large maternity bras and undies (or get them in mom-to-be’s size so she can actually keep them after the
party).

Play baby shower games for your baby shower for mom. There is no way you would get away with this at a couples shower! But at a baby shower for mom and the ladies, you can play Guess the mom-to-be’s weight (go easy on her - guess low).

Paint her belly, do crafts like paint matching tees and onesies for Mom and baby, or play a game like baby bottle bowling. Ask guests to come up with other baby shower party ideas or baby shower party themes.

Don’t Husband Bash. But you can tell funny or touching stories about other new Dads or dads-to-be. You don’t want to scare the mom-to-be. But she should be aware that some Dads will try to stop for coffee on the way to the hospital. Even though Mom’s contractions are 3 minutes apart.

Drink Girlie Drinks at the baby shower for Mom. Well, except for the mom-to-be. She can have non-alcoholic versions of girlie drinks, though. Try Strawberry Daiquiris, Cosmopolitans and other fruity drinks.

Randy is owner of http://www.planning-a-baby-shower.com where you will find further tips on baby showers and baby shower games.

The 3 Word Approach to Mommy Evaluations

2008-03-26T19:35:00.000-06:00

When was the last time you received The Mommy of the Year award? As moms, we often don't receive the recognition we deserve. Here is a creative way to receive the feedback you crave.

Superior athletes receive the MVP award. Oscars are given to the best actors and actresses. Business owners can earn a designation of “Entrepreneur of the Year”. How often have you received the “Best Mom of the Year” award? I’ve never received that award, and I’m a good mom. We have one of the most important jobs in the world, but our efforts often go unnoticed.

When I first started speaking, I would hand out evaluation sheets and ask the audience members to rate me as a speaker. There was a rating scale from 1 to 5, and I wanted participants to give me some feedback on the presentation. Although it can certainly be useful to see how others view us, as moms, it is not always feasible or practical to have others fill out a mommy evaluation sheet on us.

Can you imagine the look on your children’s face if you said, “Okay kids, I have a form I need for you to fill out for me?” “In thinking about how I did today as a mom, please rate me on a scale of 1 to 10 in the following areas: patience, kindness, provided unconditional love, made good meals, kept the house clean, fun playmate, etc.” They would probably think you’ve lost your mind, so let’s nix that idea.

Instead, let’s use the three word approach to doing self-evaluations. We don’t have to wait for others to tell us we’re doing a great job – we can provide our own feedback. Today, as a speaker, I do my own evaluation by listening and watching the audience, recording my talks for playback, and asking myself if I met my three objectives. Did I inspire the audience to think differently, take action and experience growth? These are my three words (or sets of words) for measuring my success as a speaker.

We can use the same approach as moms. Here are four ways to use the three word approach to doing mommy evaluations.

What 3 words describe who you want to be as a mom?

When you think of yourself as a mom at your very best, what 3 words come to your mind? Who do you want to be? At my very best, I want to be “accepting”. I want my children to know I love them unconditionally, regardless of the choices they make for their life. I want them to have the freedom to be who God created them to be. What are the 3 most important gifts of being do you want to give to your children?

What 3 words describe who you were as a mom today?

At the end of every day, ask yourself what 3 words best describe you as a mom? If you had a rough day, you might say “angry”. That’s okay – it is still honest and important feedback that is necessary for change. If you felt on top of the world today, you might describe yourself as “joyful”. This feedback is even more important to recognize. This is the praise we often crave as moms, and you can now give it to yourself.

What 3 words describe your areas of opportunity as a mom?

If I were to honestly disclose my areas of opportunity, I would use the words “consistency”, “spoiling” and “fun”. I would like to be more consistent with my approach to discipline, avoid spoiling my children, and make a bigger commitment to having more fun with them. Even though we have opportunities to grow, we are still good moms. In what areas do you need to grow?

What 3 words describe your strengths as a mom?

As an employee of an organization, we often receive evaluations that point out our strengths. As a mom, you are a leader of a very important organization – a family. What 3 words describe the strengths you bring to your family? My good friend Donna is “fun”. Her crazy and energetic personality brings energy and laughter to her family. Rather than focus on your perceived weaknesses as a mom, remind yourself of the blessings you are providing your family.

You can wait for your children or other people to tell you you’re a good mom, or wait for Mother’s Day to see how much you are appreciated. Or you can use the three word approach to doing daily mommy evaluations. This way you have immediate feedback and can reward yourself for a job well done!

Lori Radun, CEC – is a certified life coach and inspirational speaker for moms. To receive The FREE Mom CoachÔ newsletter and the special report “155 Things Moms Can Do to Raise Great Children”, visit her website at http://www.true2youlifecoching.com/

“Renee’s Mommy is Here”

2008-03-22T19:34:00.000-06:00

I still remember the scene vividly. I was getting out of my car at the baby-sitter’s house and a little boy comes running out the door. The little boys begins to yell - “Renee’s Mommy is here!” I remember stopping in my tracks and thinking - “Oh, that is who I am now - Renee’s Mommy.” My whole identity is now Renee’s Mommy - or is it?

As a Christian Working Mom I have multiple roles, I am Renee’s Mommy and Zachary’s Mommy as well. I am John’s wife, Betty and Eldred’s daughter, Karen’s sister, church worker, school helper, a therapist, professional coach, and a child of God. Do you often wonder who you are? Where do you fit in with all your roles?

Women have had many roles since time began. The Proverbs 31 woman is a: wife, mother, businesswoman, charity worker, and many other roles. You will recognize in here some of the stresses we modern women face. Proverbs 31:15, 18 states she gets up while it is still dark and her lamp does not go out at night. Does that sound familiar? We are often burning the candle at both ends.

Although are many roles can be stressful there can be great joy in all our many identities. I love being Renee and Zachary’s Mom. There is great joy in watching them grow and learn about God and His world. I also thoroughly enjoy my work as a professional coach and therapist. Work provides me great satisfaction. Christian Working Moms often receive a lot of support and encouragement from co-workers. As Christian wives we give and receive companionship, support, and passion (when we pencil it in) with our husbands. Our work at church and school also gives care and comfort for others. We often receive the greater blessing when we work at church or at our children’s school.

As a fellow Christian Working Mom I celebrate and applaud all our different roles. Variety in our roles often allows us to manage turmoil in any one area of our lives. The other parts of our lives seem to compensate for the difficult times and help us to maintain balance. I encourage you to rejoice in all God has given you and your many different roles.

Oh, by the way if we meet virtually or in person I’ll answer to Kimberly, Renee’s Mommy, Zachary’s Mommy ..........

Kimberly Chastain, MS, LMFT is the Christian Working Mom Coach and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She was recently featured in the book the Myth of the Perfect Mother. She is the author of “Help, I Just Can’t Say No” and Pearls of Encouragement for Christian Working Moms. To schedule a free, initial coaching session send an email to free@kimberlychastain.com or visit http://www.christianworkingmom.com.

I'm on Entrepreneur Magazine's Blog!

2008-03-21T18:15:00.000-06:00

I am so excited! I was featured on the Weekend Entrepreneur Magazine blog today!

Author Michelle Anton interviewed me and posted the story on her site. I am thrilled to be able to share my story with aspiring entrepreneurs.

Thanks to all my readers, students, and customers for all your support in making be still & knit a success.

I'd appreciate your taking the time to stop by the blog and add your comments about your experiences with me and be still & knit! If you would like your business featured there, please leave the details about it in your post. Michelle moderates all comments, and if she likes your story, then you'll get a chance to interview with her.

Please let me know if your business is featured!

Abundant blessings,

Lisa

~º~º~º~º~º~º~º~º~º~º~º~º~º~º~º~º~º~º
Lisa Akers
be still & knit, llc
Classes and clothing for children and the women who love them.
lisa@bestillandknit.com
www.BeStillandKnit.com
(303) 345-7620

Youtube Safety Tips For Parents

2008-03-18T13:18:00.001-06:00

Parents, with the recent Finland School Shooting incident, it's time for us to discuss Youtube safety tips with our children :

YouTube is a popular video sharing website. Those who are thirteen years old and above are able to register for a free account. Once an account has been registered, you can watch videos, rate them, or discuss them with other members, and share your own videos online.

Besides music videos, cartoon, or other interesting video clips, there are a number of YouTube videos that have adult or violent content. While YouTube tries to ensure that each of these videos is marked, in one way or another, not all are. You may want to put limits on the type of videos your children watch and encourage them to talk to the adults if they feel uneasy about certain video, then you can report the inappropriate content using the "Flag" button located at the bottom of the video.

When sharing videos on YouTube, especially personal video blog which has become so popular with many high school students, it is important to remind your children that they shouldn't, under any circumstance, give out their full name, address, phone numbers and even cell phone numbers. Considering millions of strangers accessing the Youtube worldwide, it would't be wise to expose your face with your full details at the internet.

Do talk to your children about internet predators. Although the dangers of meeting online predators at Youtube aren’t as high as on social networking sites, like MySpace, but the threat still exists. Let your children know that you do not want them to communicate with other YouTube members, as they never know who is behind the computer. If you and your children cannot reach an agreement, you may want to consider blocking the YouTube website from your computers.

By: Rachelle F

The Little Perks of Motherhood

2008-03-16T13:16:00.000-06:00

In taking a much-needed but hardly guilt-free respite at a ridiculously over-priced coffee shop for Artistes… (I was buying a Grande Mocha-Lisa not the Mona Lisa for goodness sakes...), I overheard two young mothers one-upping each other over whose kid could throw the best tantrums in public. Little Charlie’s red-faced, back-arching, slap-the-mat imitation of Hulk Hogan on steroids because his shoelace came untied? or Little Ruby’s decibel-breaking screech that would put a starving raptor to shame because the shopping cart smooshed her last gummy fruit pineapple that she had thrown on the floor..? Ruby’s mom won hands-down but she would do well to lay off the Pablo-Espressos.

My kids are older now so the tantrum stage is mostly behind us, making room for the ever so popular "I'm a teenager-now-rolling-of-the-eyes-making-you-feel-like-a-FREAK-parent-because-you-accidentally-hummed-‘Daydream Believer’-near-a-cashier-at-Target-who's-so-and-so's-older-sister" stage. (Good Lord, how could I be so insensitive?)

However, when our kids did throw those lovely tantrums, in public or not, my husband and I would grade them on a scale of 1-10...out loud. And egg them on, convinced they could do better, “Come on, give me more indignation… where’s the flying spittle?” Most of the time, it sort of sucked the steam right out of them. After a while, they got bored and the tantrums soon stopped. Now we do it for fun around the dinner table...see who can whine or complain the loudest. (My husband is surprisingly good at this...). Hmmm...

Not that we don’t lead exciting lives, have gratifying jobs or interesting hobbies – but for sport, we take every opportunity to embarrass our kids in public. (I dare thee who is not the parent of a teenager to cast the first stone…). There is something truly satisfying in possessing that simple, yet spot-on and lethal talent. For it matters not what you say…simply that you do say. And it doesn’t matter to whom you say it as long as they fit the ‘capable of down-loading iTunes, have a MySpace blog, or the right to have pimples’ profile. I merely have to allude to the fact that I feel like skipping through the mall and my teenage daughter’s promising me a clean room for a month and a forfeiture of two-weeks’ allowance if I can squelch the urge to skip. The idea of raising my hand with a question during a packed middle school assembly can turn my son into pool of protoplasm as he sinks lower in his chair, trying to become one with his hoodie.

I know this too shall pass…as do all stages and rages of adolescence. (And those are just mine!) Soon they’ll be out on their own, going to college, making leaps and bounds in personality and personal growth – all without my constant help and guidance. But that’s okay… it’s the way life is supposed to happen. Worry not; I’ll still have my glorious memories to cherish. And cherish them I will.

Wait. There’s frenzied activity behind me…what’s this? I’m being offered the chance to drive said daughter to the coffee shop where there’s free Internet access and several friends loading up on decaf Dolce-Dalis. “Hurry up, mom…” translates into ‘Can’t you just stop (the unimportant and trivial) thing you’re doing to cater to my every whim..?’ I lovingly finish this sentence, make a big deal of looking for a disc on which to save…and ponder the new memories I’m about to make as I follow my daughter out to the car, wearing my fluffy pink slippers. Brou-ha-ha…I think I’ll have a relaxing, yet impudent cup of Earl Grey Mat-teas to go with those memories.

By: Joyce Costanza aka writemom

How To Get Your Kids To Do What You Say

2008-03-14T13:14:00.001-06:00

Sometimes we feel that we are getting nowhere with disciplining our child. When a child just won’t adhere to what we say it can be frustrating and tiring. We sometimes feel that there must be something wrong with our child, who appears a tearaway compared to the other angelic children we see. All children have their own personality, some are stronger-willed than others, but whatever they are like, it is not necessary to think there is something wrong. All children learn and mature at a different pace to others, and when they have grown up as wonderful adults, we look back and think ‘what was I worrying about back then?’

What we sometimes overlook is that, even though we feel we have been firm and clear in our communication with our kids, in reality, we haven’t. With the busyness and stress of our lives today, we do often give in to our children’s demands, back down when trying to enforce rules, and go back on our principles. We may not even realise it, but our kids, being clever an observant individuals, do see it – it feeds their need to get their own way and to push the boundaries.

Children all too well know with whom they can push the boundaries, and also with whom they cannot. So how can we as parents ensure it is the former, and not the latter, with us?

1. Consistency is the key. Saying ‘no’ to something one day and ‘yes’ to it the next is not being consistent. Kids are extra-sensitive to this. Being inconsistent undermines your authority and makes life difficult for the future. When children see your inconsistency they interpret it as meaning your rules do not mean much, and are there to be broken.

2. Children learn a lot through your consistency and inconsistency. For example, friends I know have a lot of trouble enforcing the principle that their 16 year old son gets a part-time job to fund his social life. They see him as lazy because he just won’t get up and do anything about it, nor accept it is his responsibility. His parents are totally frustrated by this. They feel they have done everything they can, and primarily, they will not give him any money, in the hope that he will eventually feel he has to do something if he wants some money. I sympathised with their position until, one night they were going out, their son was nagging them for money, and his dad gave in and gave him some as he was flying out of the door. This one act of inconsistency is all it takes to give the message – I don’t need to bother to get a job, ask enough and dad will give in.

3. Actions speak louder than words. Children are more likely to do what they see you do rather than what you tell them to do. This means setting a good example and sticking to your own rules yourself. For example, a rule like ‘no eating in the lounge’ must be something that applies to all the family, including yourself, otherwise, do not be surprised if your children question the rule.

4. Children do actually want you to set boundaries and be consistent about enforcing them. Not only that, it helps them through their transition to school and adult life. They know where they are, how to be, and find, rather than having to learn through punishment at school or other institutions, they are better prepared for socialisation and the world of academia.

5. Do not give up. Sometimes it takes repeating a message to your child time and time again until you are tired of hearing yourself say it, but with perseverance the message will get through. Children can naturally be very forgetful – they are motivated by their own interests which are quite different from yours, so your rules and values are last on their list!

Your relationship with your child and your consistency is what determines your success at discipline in the family. Being firm but respectful when dealing with your child is effective only if you persevere and give consistent, not conflicting, messages.

Loving, peaceful and powerful parenting is possible, with The Chilled Parent. Visit http://www.chilledparent.com/Ebook.htm to get the informative ezine.

The Glamorous Life Of A Self Employed Mom

2008-03-11T09:12:00.000-06:00

Each morning, my 4 year old goes to preschool, followed by daycare for a few hours in the afternoon. During this time, I answer email in sweats, process orders to customers from my warehouse (the garage), and know both the UPS guy and my postal carrier on a first name basis. I am the founder and owner of Sunrise Imports, making decisions and taking care of every detail required of running a small business. And I love it! However, on a recent Tuesday, there was a glitch in my plan.

The previous night, my daughter had a temperature of 101 degrees and didn�t sleep much, which means I didn�t sleep much. Instead it was children�s Tylenol, damp washcloths and lots of comforting hugs all night long. When 6 am rolled around, miraculously she was awake, alert and ready to watch her favorite DVD, �The Wizard of Oz� for the twenty-second time that week. All I cared about was who would make coffee. By 7 am though, her fever had returned and she was curled up on the floor with Clifford, her stuffed red dog, and her favorite fuzzy blanket, hardly noticing that the Wicked Witch was melting. Obviously, this little person I brought into the world, needed to be with her Mommy today. Shouldn�t be a big deal, right? She can rest, watch t.v., draw and recuperate, and I can get a few things done in the office in between. (Insert chuckles here) I�m sure you know how the day turned out, especially if you're a parent. But for kicks, I'll give you the gorey details anyway.

The day was all about eating, playing, resting and watching t.v., unfortunately I forgot to factor in the part about a 4 year olds not wanting to do these things alone. She wanted mom�s attention and reassurance every minute of every hour. Each time I�d try to sneak off to the office to check my email, she�d hunt me down then pull on my arm to come play with her. She wanted to do puzzles, draw with me, play hair salon, have a tea party - all the usual things little girls like to do. The psychological battle in my head began and it was torture. Was it more important to take on the role of entrepreneur or Mom today? Of course Mom won out, so we played. We played Chutes and Ladders, Ants in the Pants, did puzzles and painted pictures of rainbows. We ate soup while watching Dorothy and Toto follow the yellow brick road. We even had a tea party complete with 16 of our closest (stuffed) friends. It was a lovely diversion from the real world for this 42-year-old, until... the business phone rang. Back to reality, I quickly reminded my daughter of the rules when Mommy�s on the telephone. Then I ran into the office, mustered up my best professional voice, and answered with confidence. An event planner had questions about making a large gift purchase for a corporate client. A minute or two into the conversation, I could hear a certain little person at the door yelling for Mommy. I became distracted and knew it would only get worse, so I took the customer�s number and decided to call her back after I returned my child to sick bay.

Still in our jammies, we went back into the living room and had a chat about Mommy�s work. Reasoning with a 4-year-old, hmmmm. Perhaps a bribe would work better. I made a deal with ice cream as the pay off. She took the bait and I went off to the back bedroom to make my call. Two minutes into the call, a knocking at the door. I fled to the bathroom which was further away from the bedroom door, hoping the customer wouldn�t hear any of the commotion. My little monster, er, daughter got louder. Knocking and calling my name turned into banging and screaming. I finished up the call and hung up. For just a brief moment, I nearly burst into tears. Was this my life? Barricaded in the bathroom to make a phone call? Forced to do business using the toilet lid as my desk and the floor as my chair? Hiding from my child who was ready to break down the door just to be near me? If it wasn�t so ridiculous, it would be comical. I smiled. Then I laughed. When I finally came out of the bathroom and opened the bedroom door, I was greeted with a big hug and a smile.

A little while later, we ate bowls of mint chocolate chip ice cream while watching the tin man sing �If I only had a heart�. Mom and daughter got to share quality time, and the entrepreneur took a much needed afternoon off. Apparently everyone was a winner that day.

Sheila Hull-Summers is the owner of Sunrise Imports, a web retailer specializing in unique home & garden decor and handcrafted gifts from Latin America and the United States.

So You Think You're Stupid? Maybe You Are

2008-03-09T09:11:00.000-06:00

I recently received an email from a parent who is desperately frustrated over the struggles her middle-school son is facing. He has been diagnosed with ADHD and bi-polar disorder. School and everyday life, she says, is a real struggle; he looses everything and forgets everything. Like every other student I have met with these same characteristics, he also happens to be brilliant.

But, his mother says, “All I hear is, “I’m stupid! Over and over again…”

Maybe he is.

There are several formal definitions of the word, “stupid,” according to Dictionary.com. In my world, however, “stupid” is the word I use to describe someone who has talents, gifts, and skills, but is choosing not to use them. Let me tell you, I know a lot of stupid people!

But, you don’t have to be one of them. This struggling young man doesn’t have to be, either.

Unfortunately, he is one of many, many students who think they are not smart for a variety of reasons. In his case, he is probably frustrated that he cannot organize and keep track of his papers as well as other classmates. “There must be something wrong with me,” he thinks.

“There IS something wrong with you,” he hears when he visits the doctor and is told that he has ADHD and bi-polar disorder. He can probably solve challenging problems, can think of creative solutions, or can design clever things, but he does not recognize any of these skills as gifts because he can’t do something as simple as keep track of a homework assignment…and now he has a diagnosis to “prove” he’s stupid.

Meanwhile, “I’m stupid!” becomes an easy excuse and a great way to get attention. When he says, “I’m stupid!” people tell him he’s not. They feel sorry for him and give him attention. Eventually, they organize his things for him and do his work for him…It doesn’t take long for “I’m stupid!” to become a crutch he depends on.

This is a very common, well-intentioned situation that has been turned upside down and is back-firing on this student and his family. It is understandable how he ended up here, but the cycle has to stop and he has to be willing to step off and stop being “stupid.”

How does he do that?

**Action Plan**

The best antidote against feeling stupid is to make a *decision* to not be stupid anymore. That may sound overly simple and obvious, but this student HAS to decide that being successful in school is worth his while and –more importantly- that he is worth the effort. If he can acknowledge that, he will immediately stop being ‘stupid,’ and will have already won more than half of his battle.

The next step is for him to take action. As wonderful as our education system is, mandated curriculum has a way of beating students into a passive, coma-like state. Students quickly feel that “learning” is about sitting, getting, rehearsing, and spewing it all back on homework or a test. However, when a student realizes that he can be strategic… that HE can make some of that dry information just a little more interesting, that he can use a couple of tricks to learn it just a little bit faster, and remember it just a little bit better, he will quickly realize that there is a strategy to learning. Strategy can be fun!

There are millions of study strategies plastered all over the internet. The free Homework Rx® Toolkit at www.soarstudyskills.com/freestuff.htm has several quick and simple strategies. He can start by simply trying 2-3 of them. He will soon discover that all he needs are a few of the right tools (a.k.a. strategies) to learn how to learn and organize more effectively…and make learning more interesting.

Finally, he needs to stop using all of his labels as excuses. I’m not suggesting that diagnosing a student with ADHD, bi-polar disorder, or any other medical diagnosis is a bad thing. Instead, I am suggesting that the way those labels are handled can sometimes be a bad thing.

For example, I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis when I was 19. At that time, I did not even know what that disease was. There was no internet in “those days,” so I went to the library and checked out a book about RA. Right from the first chapter, the attitude of the author was, “So, you have rheumatoid arthritis. That’s (literally) a pain in the neck. BUT, you don’t have to stop living! You just have to start living better.” Throughout the entire book, as I learned about my disease and better ways to take care of myself, the author continued to emphasize that I could have a better life because of my experiences with the disease. After 13 years, I can honestly say that the quality of my life is much better because of the things I learned from my illness.

This is the same attitude that we should be bestowing on our students when we tell them they have ADHD. We should be saying, “Okay, you have ADHD. That means that you are going to struggle a little more in traditional school settings, but you’re IQ is significantly higher than the national average and you can use your talents to do great things. We just need to figure out a few strategies to help you get through school.”

Isn’t that a much more empowering message?

**Conclusion**

If you think about what a child, or any human being, is really saying when they say, “I’m stupid,” they are repeating messages they’ve heard or felt in some way, shape, or fashion. They can spend their life blaming other people for sending them that message, or they can decide to not be stupid anymore, take action, and be in control of their own learning!

Susan Kruger is the author of SOAR Study Skills; A Simple and Efficient System for Earning Better Grades in Less Time. Get Susan 's FREE Homework Rx Toolkit, featuring 25 Ways to Make Homework Easier...Tonight!, at: http://soarstudyskills.com

Living My Dream Through My Sweet Tooth Beads

2008-03-07T09:07:00.000-07:00

Ever since childhood, I have had a tremendous passion for stringing beads into whimsical and fun pieces of jewelry. I used to string anything that could be strung into something resembling jewelry - seashells, seeds, buttons and of course, beads. Ever expanding my growing curiosity to create, it now has matured into a passion that I strive to share with anyone who shows an interest. Through this, I grew a desire to somehow earn enough money creating my jewelry in order to purchase more beads � that�s where Sweet Tooth Beads was born. I have created a wide array of bracelets, earrings, necklaces, each one unique and special.

Starting off in local craft shows and often wrapped up as gifts, each one of my creations fueling my interest in opening my own online boutique. Enough people have enthusiastically encouraged me to go through with it � and now with a professional and experienced web designer to take care of the technical end of my dream, I have finally launched http://www.sweettoothbeads.com. Slowly the orders have rolled in, each one often with an encouraging word and positive feedback. So far, I have saved each of those emails or cards, and often refer back to them to nurture my love of beading and to keep my dream of expanding my special business fresh and alive.

Some of my most special pieces are those inspired by events of my own life. Motherhood led to the creation of my elegant child name bracelets. Each is carefully crafted with the world 's best crystals from Swarovski and the finest sterling silver letters, beads and clasps. I truly wish each piece to be as beautiful and special as the children they represent. My first name bracelet was created for me to constantly feel the names of my children beautifully represented by these beads, jingle on my arm every time I would move my wrist. Other girlfriends and relatives of mine would admire them, and soon I would find myself creating these name bracelets for them or for others to enjoy. It�s a fun and pretty way to further enjoy having children in our lives!

It 's everywhere! On television shows, in magazines, and it may even be in your own home. Eating disorders. Our society today glamorizes the troubled thin women suffering inside. Take the first step yourself and let everyone know that each woman is, and should be, different and beautiful in her own original self.

My personal struggle with an eating disorder and my appreciation to those who gave me my own tools to travel my road to recovery inspired me to created a special bracelet.

It took me years to come up with just the right design to emulate that absolute true awareness that women are indeed individuals and beautiful in their own self. Even whilst I was at the lowest point in my life, both mentally and physically, I strung these beads for relaxation and enjoyment. I knew I wanted to use this special gift of mine to share with other suffering women my growing sense of self and belief that we, as women, are extraordinary.

I was treated for my eating disorder at the Renfrew Center in Philadelphia, and while I was there, I met other women who inspired me to create this bracelet. Just like these Swarovski crystals, which are known worldwide for their quality and splendor, these women represented extreme intelligence and the utmost inner beauty to me more than I could ever imagine.

My Eating Disorders Awareness Bracelet showcases that very belief and proudly bears my personal symbol of rebirth and recovery, the butterfly. Each exquisite Swarovski crystal is unique on the bracelet featuring a sterling silver butterfly charm and heart clasp to bring it all together. Now, I proudly give 25% of my proceeds from the sales of my Eating Disorder Awareness bracelet or necklace to the Renfrew Center.

I want to share with the world my extreme passion for creating unique and exquisite pieces of jewelry for women to decorate and celebrate their miraculous selves. As a new mother and also a survivor of an eating disorder, I now want to live my dream of jewelry making and represent proudly to my children what it means to pursue your dream and do what truly makes you happy inside.

Celebrate your individuality!

Jen Van Varick Sweet Tooth Beads � Unique Beaded Jewelry At SweetToothBeads, 25% of the proceeds for each EDA jewelry piece sold will proudly be donated to the Renfrew Center for Eating Disorders.

Are You Raising A Callous Child?

2008-03-05T10:41:00.000-07:00

em•pa•thy '?m p? ?i - [em-puh-thee] –noun

1. The intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.

A three year old boy declares from his car seat in the back seat of their SUV, “Mom, we have to be very careful of that motorcycle, right? If we hit him he’ll get hurt, right mom, and that would hurt.”

In contrast, another small child of five, laughs, as her team mate trips over the ball and limps off the field crying into the arms of mommy. The laughing child then gets angry that the game must be stopped to tend to the hurt child, “but I want to play now!”

What makes these two children so different in their abilities to be empathetic? Why does the child of five show less empathy than the three year old?

1. It is crucial to a child’s moral development to be taught empathy by parents.
2. Empathy must be taught to children; it is not developed without training.
3. Empathy training must start at infancy.

It is pretty clear from the reactions of the children in the two different situations that one child has had ongoing empathy training from birth, while the other child has not had the same training. Lack of training about empathy can lead to callous, self-centered and narcissistic adults.

Modeling empathy

It is well known that children learn from example. Therefore, demonstrating empathy is a crucial way to teach children to be empathetic. There are many different ways of modeling empathy.

Parent with compassion.

Patience, kindness and thoughtful interaction with children contribute to raising kind, empathetic, and compassionate people. Taking the time to listen and really focusing on what a child is saying is the start of teaching empathy.

Kneel when giving directions, listen closely to what the child is saying and repeat their words, and read their emotions: These are all ways to show children what it is like to have someone try to experience what they are feeling. Parents should not forget to model compassion outside of the home too. Treating people with dignity and respect teaches children to treat people with dignity and respect.

Help children experience empathy firsthand.

Bring children to a local animal shelter, donate used items to a homeless shelter, and visit assisted living facilities. These and other acts of kindness put children in close proximity to those in need.

Expose children to great humanitarians.

A trip to the library to research famous humanitarians can be a wonderful experience for parents eager to instill empathy in their children. Learning about great givers like Ghandi, Mother Theresa, Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, and modern day Nobel Peace Prize winner, Aun San Suu Kyi, will expand the child’s world view, and teach them about people who have dedicated their lives to the betterment of others.

Label emotions so that children understand the normal feelings they are experiencing.

Children have the same feelings that adults do, including anxiety, sadness, frustration and anger. Parents can help them to identify their emotions by paying close attention and asking them what they are feeling. Helping a child get in touch with his feelings is an empathetic gesture and bonds parent and child. Parents can explain that everyone experiences feelings. For instance, the little girl sitting alone at lunch feels lonely. Similarly, the boy who had his name put on the blackboard for bad behavior probably felt ashamed and embarrassed.

Identify situations where empathy is appropriate.

The homeless, injured animals, crying children and sad family members are situations to which children come face to face. Being sensitive to age and maturity so as not to frighten children, parents can point out and discuss sad situations with children. Simple questions like, “How would you feel if…”, train children to put themselves in another’s shoes.

The goal in teaching empathy to children is to raise kind, caring adults. Living in a world that places enormous emphasis on fame, immediate gratification, and acquisition can retard children’s social development by placing all of the emphasis on “me”. Without the ability to shift focus away from “me” and onto others, people can not establish deep and lasting relationships as adults.

Parents should not underestimate their role in instilling empathy in their children. Empathy training happens at home from infancy. By teaching children how to feel what others may be feeling, parents will raise loving and kind people.

Elena Neitlich is the owner of momsonedge Her company designs children 's behavioral products and parenting aids. She is the mother of Noah(5) and Seth(3) and committed to raising really great people. For info please visit: http://www.momsonedge.com

It Does Get Easier

2008-03-03T10:36:00.000-07:00

One foggy, fuzzy day when I had three kids under the age of five, I happened to be sitting on a park bench near a group of very put-together moms. (Foggy and fuzzy didn't describe the weather, just my mental status that year.) These moms were chit-chatting as their school age children played nearby. I was nursing my six-month old while my two-year old tried to bounce on my knee. My four-year-old was braiding and twisting my hair to keep herself occupied. I looked up at this group of moms, and I said, "Tell me it gets easier." They shook their heads. "No," they agreed, "It doesn't get any easier. It just gets, um, different."

I've heard this many times: The notion that parenting doesn't ever get any easier; it just changes. And one thing is true: The questions my kids ask now are harder to answer. The problems my kids have now are harder to solve. But I think that we say parenting does not get easier because we want to emphasize that parenting never becomes less important, and that is most certainly true. Good parenting at age 14 is no less important than good parenting at age 1 or age 4 or age 22. But the fact is: Day-to-day life DOES get easier.

My kids are each out of diapers and sleeping through the night. Two of them are in school full time and one enjoys preschool a couple days a week. Yet, their time in infancy is still so fresh in my mind that I haven't forgotten waking up every two hours to feed the baby, having to work in the middle of the night because I couldn't cram enough in during the day, the sheer physical exhaustion that came with being pregnant while chasing toddlers. And the restlessness that came with the feeling that I was losing touch with the person that I was even amid the bliss of new motherhood.

I don't have teenagers yet, so in a few years, I may have to amend this message, but I feel compelled to whisper this fact to every bleary-eyed mom with a double stroller. It DOES get easier.

At some point, you will begin to sleep ALL night long. Maybe not every night, but you will come off chronic sleep deprivation. You will feel less moody and less tired and more like the woman you remember being. And that will make everything you do seem infinitely easier.

At some point, your kids will begin to buckle their own seatbelts, tie their own shoes, and brush their own teeth. It will be a treat to take them out to dinner, and vacations will be time for relaxing, not just more work for you. At some point, your kids will ask for what they want using complete sentences, and they will, on some level, understand a rational explanation of why it is or is not in their best interest to want such a thing.

At some point, your clothes will look roughly the same at the end of the day as they did at the beginning. At some point, you will actually go for days -- weeks, even -- without having anything to do with your child 's poop.

At some point, you will regain your professional identity, though it 's sure to be a new and more mature variety. At some point, you will have time to volunteer for causes that are important to you. At some point, you will be able to read an entire book before its due date at the library. At some point, when you clean your house in the morning, it will be clean all the way until the kids get off the school bus in the afternoon. At some point - and this is really strange - but at some point, you will come into your home and it will be quiet.

And when this happens, you will have some remarkable little people (who are a lot like you) to chat with and to laugh with and to share your life with. You will also, and I can say this with certainty, miss all of those things that are making your life not so very easy right now.

I suppose I feel compelled to say all of this because when we can see a light at the end of the tunnel, it makes it easier to settle into our days and to enjoy them, just the way they are. Because life with kids never gets any better than it does when they are small. It doesn't get any less exciting or any less fulfilling. And it certainly doesn't get any less important. It just gets, um, different. May you find light in every single age and every single stage.

Susie Cortright is the founder of Momscape.com, Susies-Coupons.com and Susies-Travel-Coupons.com where you'll find hand-selected online coupons, coupon codes and travel discounts.

Mommy Guilt No More

2008-03-01T10:35:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel guilty when you buy yourself a two dollar bottle of nail polish? How about when you take the long way home from a quick ride to the store just to get some extra quiet time, and when you get home the kids ask, “what took you so long?” does this make you feel like you did something wrong? I am here to tell you that you shouldn’t feel an ounce of guilt!

Moms always seem to give, give, and give some more until we’re running on empty. The truth of the matter is; if you don’t take time to yourself on a regular basis, you’re going to end up feeling deprived and downright exhausted. What good are you to yourself, friends and your family if you’re too tired and irritable to do the things you need to do each day?

Here are a few tips to help you overcome feeling guilty for setting aside time for yourself:

• When your family is getting too demanding and starts questioning you as to why you aren’t at their beckon call every second of the day; simply explain to them that you’re taking time out for a bit and that mom’s need time to themselves too. You can do this by setting a day and time do to something nice for yourself and simply explain to your family what your plans are. Let them know when you are leaving and when they can expect you to be back. They will be so happy to have a relaxed, happy mom upon your return.

• Ask your husband, significant other, friend or a trusted sitter to watch your kids for a while ant then schedule a time to go meet call your friend for an afternoon of window shopping, lunch or perhaps a movie. Don’t allow yourself to feel guilty while you’re doing this. Keep in mind that you deserve the time. When you arrive back at home, don’t get all tense and think, “Maybe I should have stayed home and cleaned the toilet instead.” Let your children see how happy you are that you took time out for yourself then reward your children for their behavior while you were away.

• The next time you find yourself feeling guilty when you haven’t done anything wrong, ask yourself, “is this illegal?” or “is this going to hurt someone else?” If the answer is no, then just don’t worry about it and try to enjoy yourself. You’re more than just a mom, you’re still Y-O-U; and you deserve attention too.

• Don’t think you’re being selfish. This is the number one thing that sidetracks a lot of moms. We have no problem going out and getting a little something for the kids, husband, or friends, but when it comes to making a purchase for ourselves, as small as a shirt on the clearance rack for a few dollars, we hesitate and put it back. If you can afford to get yourself a little something then go ahead and do it. Even if all you can purchase is a new tube of lip stick, a new book or a small accessory, it will make you feel better about yourself.

• Be sure you are expressing your true thoughts and feelings to your loved ones. For instance, if you are asked what you want for your birthday and you say, “Well, I don’t really need anything” and secretly, you are expecting your family to read your mind, 9 times out of 10 you’ll end up feeling disappointed in the outcome. When your family is really trying to be nice and do something kind for you, let them! Don’t feel guilty for asking for that shiny new bracelet you saw in the mall, or a trip to a day spa for that massage that you’ve always wanted. You deserve it!

The most important things in a mother’s life, her children, are also the most influential. Children are just like sponges and everything Mom does they will, at some point in time in their lives, mimic and/or reflect upon. If your children see you constantly suppressing your needs and not speaking out and taking the time that you deserve, they will be more inclined to follow those patterns as they grown into adulthood. What you do today can determine the kind of life your child will lead tomorrow.

Life is short and motherhood goes by quickly, enjoy it to the best of your ability. A guilt free mom is a happy mom!

Revering the Crayon Marks

2008-02-28T10:33:00.000-07:00

"Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired." Mother Theresa

It was one of those days when my husband left promising to return home a little early, and to bring with him a pizza.

I had started the day, even, in one of those relatively rare but still very real moods in which the best I was going to be able to do in my role as a stay at home mom would be to fake a smile and turn my back, when necessary, to count to ten.

It was on this particular day that the girls and I were heading to a distant store to pick out just the right gift for someone. My 3 year old, who is much less adept (thankfully) at reading my moods than her daddy is, was passing the time by speaking every thought that occurred to her. Right now, those thoughts revolved around the time of day.

"If you get up early enough, it is night," she announced. "Callie gets earbubble," (that would be "irritable") "right before her nap." "Daddy comes home when it gets dark." I answered yes to all of these things, only half listening.

Then, making conversation in the distracted way I do on days like this, I sputtered a question: "What is your favorite time of the day?" Silence.

"What did you ask me, mommy?"

So I repeated the question. "What is your favorite time of the day?"

Silence again. I looked in the rear view mirror. Her blank stare told me she thought my question was absurd. After a time, she answered: "This one."

Now Cassie does enjoy a good long car ride, so I asked her the question again as she was getting ready for bed that night: "Cassie, what is your favorite time of day?" The answer was the same: "This one."

This one. And so should it be for me. How I wish it were. How I wish I could recognize the peace and joy in every single moment with my kids. My daughter is better than me at something I long to be good at. It is what Richard Foster, author of Prayer: Finding the Hearts True Home, calls the "Prayer of the Ordinary."

"We are Praying the Ordinary," he writes, "when we see God in the ordinary experiences of life. Can we find meaning in the crayon marks on the wall made by the kids? Are they somehow the finger of God writing on the wall of our hearts?" In the same chapter, he writes: "It is in the everyday and the commonplace that we learn patience, acceptance, and contentment."

That, I am sure, is true. Particularly that patience part. My fear is that, like everyone with adult children tells me, the time will go too quickly, I fear that I will wish for it back, even those mealtimes interrupted by the whisper "Mommy, I pooped." Even those whines for another Gogurt. Even the stray Legos I nail with my bare feet. I fear that I will soon pine for all the time I have ever wished away.

And yet, though I am infinitely conscious of trying to freeze those moments the good and the bad in my memory for some distant future, it is hard. It is hard to see those crayon marks on the wall as anything but crayon marks. Crayon marks that I will have to scrub.

I am experiencing a crayon mark of sorts right now. As I jot notes for this column at the kitchen table, my 3 year old is sitting on my lap, trying to push my pen along the page with her Three Little Pigs book. She has just dragged her grape lollipop through my hair and wiped her nose on my sleeve. "Mommy, make your pen go ALL the way along the page," she orders, scooting it along and making my thoughts an illegible mess of ink.

For a moment, I have an unbecoming and out of the blue urge to chuck her beloved book across the room. And it is precisely times like these when I need to indeed see the crayon marks as something left by the finger of God. To feel a sense of reverence for my every moment of my life as a mom. To once again find meaning and glory in the cherubic yet filthy face of my daughter.

But for this, I need some kind of tool, some trick for the heat of the moment. A trick to bring myself back in an instant to the kind of mother I long to be, the kind of mother I sometimes know myself to be, and the kind of mother I want my daughters to remember me to be.

At this moment, I have a little talk with myself. My daughter and I end up tucking our feet under a blanket on the couch and reading the very book that I wanted to hurl. And I enjoy it as I always do if can just sink into the moment and remember what a little miracle I have here on my lap.

Perhaps that tool, then, is surrender. Or maybe it is distraction. The same trick that all moms learn when their youngest is about 18 months old. When Cassie was that age, and she would get angry and frustrated, distraction worked wonders. When she was 2 and a half, distraction worked wonders on my own anger and frustration.

Perhaps that tool is compassion. Compassion for our children and a conscious understanding of what they must be feeling at certain times in their precious and sometimes bewildering lives. And compassion to ourselves, which we can show by not over scheduling our lives to the point where it is impossible to get down on the floor and play for 20 minutes, if that is what it takes. Or to call your own mommy just to chat for 20 minutes, if that is what it takes.

Perhaps that tool lies in the realization that our lives are long and full and that there will be plenty of time to do what we need to do when we no longer have little ones pulling on our pant legs.

Perhaps it is the tool of single tasking. So we do not feel distracted all the time. This is the tool that involves downshifting out of overdrive, because it is in overdrive that we talk too much, eat too much, think too much, and enjoy too little.

Perhaps it is the tool of shifting our awareness. A conscious committing to memory of the ripe physical sensations of motherhood: The feel of your babys marvelous, heavy head on your chest. The smell of Cheerios on her breath. This is how we bring ourselves back, gently, to the gifts that are under our fingers and, oftentimes, directly underfoot.

Perhaps it is the tool of solitude. So that, by enjoying the pursuit of something, solo, we may return to them renewed and without resentment.

Perhaps it is the tool of being honest and talking it out with other moms. It helps me to remember that we are all in this together. Most days we are genuinely loving it. Some days we are genuinely faking it, just as generations of good moms before us have done.

There is a certain solace in this story told by my mother in law, whose three grown children would each describe an ideal, involved, committed, and very loving mother. There were days at home with her young children, she says, when her face hurt at the end of the day from smiling. A clear and present sign that her smile was, for hours at a time, forced. But her kids did not know. With grace, neither will mine. And tomorrow will be a different kind of a day, with new tools to look upon those crayon marks with the reverence they deserve.

Susie Cortright is the founder of Momscape.com and Susies-Coupons.com, where she hand picks online coupons and products, including coupons for children 's clothing and baby gear.

In The Motherhood Valentine's Day

2008-02-26T16:46:00.000-07:00

Feeling Overwhelmed By Motherhood? Top Five Ways To Beat The Mommy Blues

2008-02-26T16:41:00.000-07:00

What are the mommy blues? They can be described as the loss of
ability to cope with the repetitive routine and mundane course of daily
child rearing for a specifically isolated period of time. Most mothers will
experience at least some form of mommy blues before their child's
eighteenth birthday. You feel as if you can no longer handle the
fighting, the crying, the tantrums and overall lack of adult interaction. You
needn't feel ashamed for identifying with any of the above, this just
means that yu could benefit from a simple change in your daily routine
for awhile.

Here are 5 simple ways to avoid the mommy blues. You'll notice that all five of these involve taking time for yourself each and every day. "Mommy Time" could be something as simple as soaking in a hot bath first thing in the morning. Gather your favorite spa products such as those from
the earth mama angel baby line. Post a do not disturb sign on the door
and strictly prosecute any violations!!

Exercise can also calm you down and help you cope with stressful situations. You should include some form of slow paced exercise such as an early morning walk around the block or a 30 minute stretching video. The slow yet invigorating pace of the exercise will begin to release your feel good hormones thus lending a more relaxed tone to the rest of the day.

"Mommy Time" should encompass some sort of creative activity to remind you of your personal interests. If you enjoy photography why not start a scrapbook where you can catalog your photos as well as do some creative journaling. Your scrapbook does not have to be about kids and family but if you prefer it be , then you might consider some beautiful baby memory books that include spaces for journaling.

Your "Mommy Time" should be sure to contain at least some kind of daily
conversation with another adult beside your spouse. This would be a great
opportunity to call a girlfriend or out of town sibling for a brief
chat. Keep the conversation positive! Don't spoil your "You Time" by
discussing negative subjects that will probably leave you feeling
emotionally drained.

Finally, the most important step before beginning your new routine is
to get your husband on board. You will need his support to make sure
you are not disturbed while taking time for yourself. Surprisingly, most
husbands would like to see their wives relax a little more and are
willing to help make that happen.

Taking time for yourself should not be viewed as a selfish endeavor.
This will only leave you feeling more refreshed and ready to be a better
parent and wife. We all need that little something to look forward to
each day and this can only help us to enjoy life with our family all
the more.

Cinda Serafin is a contributing parenting resource writer for Brown Eyed Baby Boutique, an industry leader in the field of personalized baby gifts.

Mom Humor - William Tell Style

2008-02-19T16:29:00.001-07:00

Scabies Attack!

2008-02-17T18:54:00.000-07:00

Scabies was something that I had never heard of until last year, and would have lived my life very happily, had I not been forced to deal with this unwanted, horrifying bug!

My daughter and I had been looking forward to a trip to San Diego for years. It was really my daughter’s dream to go to the San Diego Zoo to visit the pandas and swim with the dolphins at Sea World. That’s all she talked about. So when a special deal came up on Expedia, we took it! We were going to stay at one of the absolutely best hotels on the water in Coronado Beach for a great price and we were thrilled! The hotel was beautiful, with every amenity that you could imagine. We easily navigated the bus system and did everything on that trip that you could wish for. It was the perfect vacation… until we got home.

Well, actually a few weeks had gone by, when my daughter started itching. Her arms were red and covered with tiny red bumps that formed lines. I put some Bactine on her arms and figured we’d wait until the next day. During the night, I woke up with the most intense itching I had ever felt. I thought it was sympathy itching and tried my best to go back to sleep. Nothing worked. It became worse as the night progressed and I woke up tired and cranky.

My son came into my room that morning with the same symptoms. I began to worry. What on earth was going on here? Were we being invaded by fleas? I took the day off from work and we all went to the doctor’s office, where I heard the most horrifying news ever. It was scabies! What?? She calmly explained that scabies were mites that burrowed under your skin and laid eggs! They reproduced quickly and covered your whole body. A million questions went through my mind. How did we get them? I’m a cleanliness freak and if I do say so myself, I keep as germ-free an environment as I can. She asked if we had traveled in the past few weeks because they are often passed in beds. They are sometimes called bedbugs. “Oh, no,” I thought, “so much for the perfect vacation!”

Not to worry, she said, this prescription will get rid of them in no time. But, she warned, wash ALL the bedclothes and pillows every night, or they’ll come back. I freaked out! Bugs under my skin! No way could I cope! I didn’t know which was worse…the itching or the thought of bugs eating me alive!

But as parents, we do cope. I dutifully went to the drugstore and filled the prescriptions. We all covered our bodies that night from head to toe with this awful stuff, which burned and smelled terribly. When I read the possible side effects which ranged from nausea, vomiting, seizures to central nervous system damage, I had serious reservations, but felt that I had no choice. We tried to sleep but none of us could. The itching became unbearable and at night it intensified. My daughter had nightmares that bugs were crawling over her. And the sad truth was that she was right.

A few days went by, and still no relief. Besides the itching, there were other complications. We couldn’t have visitors, because scabies is contagious. Each night when I got home from work, I dutifully stripped the beds and brought everything, including the towels we had used, to the laundry-mat. Imagine washing everything on your bed, including mattress covers, pillows and comforters EVERY NIGHT! And then, doing it again the next night, and the next night, and the next night. It was costly, a lot of work, and not exactly my idea of a good time. I was feeling very sorry for myself, and my poor kids. I certainly didn’t want to try another dose of that medication.

I finally decided to do what I usually do and look for a natural cure. I’m into natural cures for everything, and they had always worked in the past so maybe that would be the answer this time too. Within minutes, I had researched the Internet for a natural scabies cure. I found a product which was a blend of potent botanicals used for decades to deal with scabies. It promised to give immediate relief and also to be perfectly safe, all of which sounded great to me. I called the company and spoke to a representative, who told me not to worry. She promised relief in a couple of days and promptly overnighted the product to us. She was absolutely right. The next day, we felt a little better and after a few days, the red marks covering our bodies diminished as the scabies bugs died off. Relief at last! Finally, after so much grief, the scabies were gone.

My daughter and I laugh now when we look at the pictures of our trip. It will no longer be remembered as our dream vacation to San Diego. Instead, it will be forever etched in our minds as the time we got attacked by the Scabies!

Scarlett Webb is a writer who loves to learn new things and share them with the world. Her children are a constant source of inspiration to her. Visit: for more information on scabies

"There's a Lollipop on Your Bottom" (and Other Terms of Endearment)

2008-02-08T14:21:00.000-07:00

"I took care of Callie," my three-year-old announced.

Callie had been starting with that little whine that babies adopt to alert mothers and sisters that their new crawling tricks have them wedged behind the furniture. But the whining had stopped--rather suddenly, it seemed in retrospect.

"Thanks, Cassie. You are such a big help," I said, kissing the top of her head. "How did you manage that?"

"I got her a beer."

Sure enough, Callie was still wedged behind the table, but now she was happily gumming the cold smooth side of a Newcastle (unopened, fortunately enough.)

Because I hope that Cassie went for the beer in the fridge because she imagined how good it would feel on her teething sister's sore gums--and not because she deems it some sort of panacea, the whole thing got me laughing (after I took away the beer, of course.) Then it got me thinking about which of my friends would laugh about this story along with me. And which would sort of disapprove.

I guess that groups my mommy friends into two camps: one camp that can overhear me saying to my kids, "Please don't lick the carpet," and they don't say a word (or better yet, they laugh). And the other camp, which thinks that's pretty gross.

For me, if a toddler gets out of a car, and she has a lollipop stuck to her bottom, I know, instantly, that her mom is a friend. And the opposite is true, too. If you've got any number of kids under the age of four and your car doesn't occasionally stink, you probably make me a little nervous.

In all of our efforts to prove our own Supermom skills, let's remember that it's sometimes rather endearing when we're not. To remember that may be to regain a lot of energy and a lot of time.

Susie Cortright is the founder of Momscape.com and Susies-Coupons.com

Mini-Van Mom Rap

2008-02-07T20:03:00.001-07:00

Can You Help?

2008-02-05T17:20:00.001-07:00

Have you been wanting to brush up on your skills? How about learning to crochet? Did everyone love your Christmas gifts, but now they want to see what else you can do? Then open up your calendar and let's set a date for your private class. Classes are only $35 for two hours if you come to my studio in Highlands Ranch, or just $45 if I come to you. Check out some of the other options on my website and let's set a date!

I'd like to ask your help. I'm having some trouble fitting in my reguar two hour classes right now because I'm so busy with getting orders filled. So, I'm offering a special! I have several one-hour blocks open between other classses, and I'm scheduling "tune-up" sessions. These quick sessions are great for getting started on a project, getting some pointers on a new technique, and finishing up your first fabulous knitted garment. Pretty much anything you want to do in an hour is exactly what we'll do. For February, you can get a "tune-up" for just $15 - these are regularly $20! To schedule your "tune-up," call me at 303-345-7620 or send me an email. I'll be able to arrange a session to fit with your needs.

Everyone Loves Chocolate Chip Cookies

2008-02-05T16:58:00.001-07:00

If you are like me, you remember how much you loved visiting grandma's house as a kid. You loved it because you got spoiled there. She let you play any game you wanted, you got to be silly and goofy, and you could even have candy before dinner. Grandma let you do all of the things that your mom said no to. But there is another reason kids love going to grandma's house to visit: her chocolate chip cookies.

Chocolate cookies are loved by most people I know. And most of us discovered our love for them as small children in the comfort of grandma's kitchen. For some reason her cookies were always much better than mom's. Maybe it is because they were always hot and soft or because she probably let you eat as many as you wanted. Whatever the reason, one thing is sure. You loved, and maybe still do love, chocolate chip cookies.

Chocolate chip cookies are the perfect snack. You can eat them when they are warm and right out of the oven or you can save them for a few days and still enjoy them just as much. Some people even love to eat the dough of the chocolate chip cookies before they are baked. Not many other snacks can be eaten in so many fun ways. Perfect with a glass of milk, chocolate cookies can be enjoyed after school, just before bed, and during any season of the year. They are just as good when it is freezing cold outside as they are in the middle of summer.

Chocolate chip cookies are the most famous kind of cookies. Everyone has eaten one and most everyone loves them. You can find them in every grocery store and bakery you enter, and most every cook I know has a special recipe to make the perfect batch. Chocolate chip cookies are great because they are made with a few simple ingredients, most of which you have in the house all the time.

Making chocolate chip cookies is a perfect way to get children started working in a kitchen and learning to cook. All kids love to help mom with mixing and pouring the ingredients together, and there is nothing better to let kids experiment with than chocolate chip cookies. Kids can get involved and have a special job to do and they can see and taste the results of their hard work. Baking chocolate chip cookies is a great family building activity that can fill any Saturday afternoon with fun.

So the next time you remember how great grandma's chocolate chip cookies really were, get out your own secret recipe and get your whole family to make the special memory of making and baking the perfect chocolate chip cookie.

Rachael Cleipher has always loved chocolate chip cookies and has developed a secret recipe of her own. You can too by checking out www.chocolatechipcookieshub.info

Wanna Trade Places?

2008-02-01T14:52:00.000-07:00

Even immediately after my car accident, every single person who saw me was pleasantly shocked at how "great" I looked. Funny how much a little concealer and a new hair style can
make anyone look fabulous.

One of my physicians confidently told me "there's no 'look' for pain". This wise woman also said "you can't see muscular or neurological damage".

Going through physical and neurological (inner ear disorder) therapy for months, I was in awe by anyone with broken bones. I constantly saw quicker recoveries for people with pins in their legs.

I also often wished for a pain in my butt, because I was sick of it being in my back, shoulder, knee, and head. And now, I found out that I may have joint problems too...yipee.

Anyways, I took my compliments pleasantly, and politely reminded them NOT to judge a book by its cover, even good ones.

Whenever I tried to wean into work, the effort to make myself presentable for a couple of hours with a crowded room filled with people was extremely difficult. Walking through noisy crowds gave me motion sickness. Unfortunately, the compliments often turned into "you look and sound GREAT" with a huff and a puff.

So, my constant rebuttal was "Wanna trade places?" with a smirk. They rarely asked for details, and assumed my life was just fine.

Yeah, writing my book "Empowering Women to Power Network" was fulfilling one of my dreams, but promoting it is a whole job in and of itself...something I'm not fully able to handle right now.

Hey, and you're also right: I'm living my other dream of homsechooling my girls too (thanks for remembering).

Just so you know even up to this very day, my husband and I find new ways to vertigo-safety our house so I don't faint or pass-out when I'm home alone with the girls. Our four-year old knows how to call 911, report our address, and use a cell phone...just in case.

Do I want sympathy? No way!

My point: I don't wanna trade places with anyone.

So, I stopped asking that question when I realized I was just fueling sarcasm with more sarcasm. No doubt, I've always been a very sarcastic person, but to joke around may be fine...to pass judgment is not.

I don't give a darn what people may think, because I have enough to worry about. Can you imagine not sitting too long in a chair because of back pain, or not standing too long because of your knee? Pretty annoying, huh?

But, I'm grateful for these conditions.

Consider some of these women who are within my own sphere
of influence:

- Having clinical depression that she would cry all day and night, be insomniac, paranoid, and can not physically get out of bed for days at a time.

- Having a restraining order against her hope-to-be X-husband for herself and three children because he abused them. She lives in fear and worry for all their safety.

- Being 35 years old and experiencing a car accident that only broke her hips, and then the day she was supposed to come home she died. Survived by this tragedy are her husband and four children: the youngest is three and oldest 14 years old.

All of this happened during my recovery these past eight months.

Do I feel blessed? You betcha.

No matter what you may see or feel about another person, just think: "Would you wanna trade places with that person when you have NO idea what their situation really is right now!?"

My answer is "No Way", how 'bout you?

I didn't think so.

Ponn M. Sabra is a homeschool work at home mom of three with partial paralysis, best-selling author of "Empowering Women to Power Network", syndicated columnist, and writer. A home-based entrepreneur for 10 years, Ponn empowers women entrepreneurs to action at www.EmpowerWomenNow.com Logon for free tips, tools & resources today.

Mrs. Jekyll and Mommy Hyde

2008-02-01T14:47:00.000-07:00

I emerged today from a brief shopping trip to our local discount store with my two youngest children. I don’t know if it was the crisp January breeze or the promise of that elusive sun beginning to peek out from some clouds, but it occurred to me how great the day had been. I realized that I had calmly managed to get all 3 children out to the car for the quarter-mile drive to the bus stop earlier this morning, serenely prepared a dish to deliver to our monthly recipe club, and patiently gotten through a store that normally reduces my children to little beggars and turns me into a raging monster.

These are the good days, the days when I can’t keep my hands away from my girls’ rosy cheeks or my boy’s close-cropped hair and I feel so proud and grateful to be their mother. I love these days. These are how my daydreams of motherhood looked. Once, during one of these cherished moments, I was driving to a park on a gorgeous day with my toddler in the back. I could not resist the urge to call my husband, who was at work, to let him know how much I appreciated his sacrifice to our family so that I had the freedom to stay at home with our children.

Regrettably, all too often, there is another kind of day: a day when I seem to wake up screaming and continue to be loud, irritable, impatient, and unsympathetic with my three cherubic little angels. In all fairness, children have their good days and bad as well, and though I must take responsibility for any inappropriate behavior or poor examples that I may exhibit, children certainly know how to push the limits of faith and goodwill.

While I would like to discover a potion that would enable me to be rid of Mommy Hyde forever, I would like to offer a toast to Mrs. Jekyll. May she always be able to awaken to the coaxing of her little ones at the crack of dawn with a smile on her face; may her endeavors to prepare an endless parade of breakfast, lunch, snacks, and dinner fill her with a bountiful joy; may the sight of a mountain of laundry inspire her to give thanks for her many blessings; and may she always remember the expressions on the faces of her progeny as they gaze at her with absolute trust and unconditional love.

Jennifer Tankersley is the creator of ListPlanIt.com where you can find 250 lists and planning pages including cleaning schedules, daily to do lists, grocery lists, and holiday/party planning to put your world in order.

Beating The Stay At Home Mom Stereotypes

2008-01-28T08:36:00.000-07:00

Everyone has a picture in their mind of what a stay at home mom should be. Sometimes it’s fairly flattering - the perfect mother who is always there for her family, home cooks every meal and keeps a perfect house. Other times it’s a picture of a woman lazing on the couch, watching soap operas, eating bon bons and spending her husband’s hard earned money.

Most stay at home moms don’t fit perfectly into either. Maybe you’re great at cooking meals for your family, but when it comes to thinking of great ways to keep the kids busy, you struggle. Maybe your house is clean but you hate to cook. And maybe you do enjoy those soap operas as you help the kids with homework and projects.

Most people don’t recognize the challenges your typical stay at home mom deals with. They see it as a kind of makework, nothing real.

As a stay at home mother you have many doors open these days. You can express yourself for the entire world to see on a blog. You can start a home business. You can volunteer. You can find a work at home job. Or you can just delight in being a stay at home mother and ignore your detractors.

Is a stay at home mom lazy? Rarely. Most try hard to contribute their fair share by budgeting money wisely, being there for their family, raising the kids, cleaning the house, cooking meals, and generally working what studies have shown to be the equivalent of two full time jobs. Next time someone calls stay at home moms lazy, just remind them of that.

You don’t have to be June Cleaver to be a successful stay at home mom. If you don’t enjoy cooking, that’s just fine. Use the shortcuts available to you that fit in your budget. I would suggest keeping the food healthy for your family’s sake, but otherwise it’s up to you.

Despite what some feminists think, choosing to be a stay at home mom is not a betrayal of what the feminist movement fought for. Women now have options, and can choose what exactly they want to do with their lives. Saying that it is unreasonable to choose a traditional path is denying you the right to live your life as you choose.

Just take a look at what today’s stay at home mom is like. Odds are you weren’t raised to think of yourself as a future stay at home mother. Growing up, girls are now encouraged to think of having careers, not “merely” raising their families.

It’s okay for a stay at home mom to have outside interests. They don’t have to be the more or less traditional volunteering, cooking and so forth. You can keep up your skills so that when your children are grown or reach an age where you decide to go back to work you still have the skills. You can do real work at home.

There are more options out there for stay at home moms than there used to be. Even as you take the time off from outside the home jobs to raise your family you can maintain your own interests.

Stephanie Foster is one of the lucky ones who has been a stay at home mom since her children were born. She has a forum at http://www.homewiththekids.com/phpBB2/ to meet other moms.

Help! The Kids Are Taking Over

2008-01-25T14:26:00.000-07:00

Thank you David - you leave me in stitches EVERY time!!! Now imagine 4 more like this..

Once upon a time, I harbored a quaint notion of child development.

In the my imaginary world, children eventually transmogrified into those horror-movie monsters called teenagers. They would overrun the house for a few years, scorching and pillaging along the way...but leaving no lasting damage that a new mortgage and a five-year Caribbean cruise couldn't fix. They would then transmogrify into wistful longings and fond memories of when they were just babies – when the parents were still in control.

My innocent notions have been sliced, diced and fed to that green creature so loyally following Captain Hook across the seven seas. My daughters are still both toddlers, and already their mutiny is almost complete.

Little Lady is just three-and-a-half. Two days ago, she took over the kitchen.

"No. Don't sit there. That's Lulu's chair."

"Lulu?" my wife asked?

"She's my imaginary friend."

"Well I have a real sandwich and real hunger and I'm going to sit my real bottom down on this real chair," my wife responded.

That's when the revolution began. Little Lady kicked up a fuss, wailing about how her imaginary friends had knocked on the door and how she had let them in and how could Mommy be so cruel as to sit on one of them.

"Your imaginary friend can sit on an imaginary chair," my wife finally said.

"Nooooooooo..."

"Do you want me to leave?" my wife asked.

"Yes. Go away." And with those words, the kitchen was formally occupied by the rebel insurgent army – one toddler and a handful of her imaginary friends.

Editor's note. The wailing eventually stopped. I was able to squeeze an apology out of Little Lady. And my wife did return to the kitchen. But Lulu was keeping an eye on us.

This morning I was taking a business call. Nobody important, just Lady Banker. Yes, the same Lady Banker who technically owns at least half of our home and can at any moment shake the rug and send us tumbling into the winter snow.

As I was trying to explain a delicate detail to her, Barney suddenly came blaring through the ear piece.

"What?!" Lady Banker and I cried in unison.

It took me a moment, but it slowly dawned on me that the living room had fallen to the enemy. "Please excuse me a moment. I think this is the work of foreign cannibals breaking through the basement foundation again." I didn't know if Lady Banker would buy my story, but I figured it would buy me some time while she considered it.

I rushed to the living room, and there was Little Sister, grinning in the full splendor of her 14 months and holding up the handset.

"I was on the phone with Lady Banker, Little Sister. She holds the mortgage to our house, you know."

The look on Little Sister's face said it all: "You think that's your biggest problem?"

I tried a few negotiation tactics, finally trading the handset for a limited edition huggy doll.

I returned to the phone. "The rebels are gaining ground, eh?" Lady Banker asked. I sighed.

It was true. Just yesterday, Little Sister scurried up the back staircase to the second floor. She had been playing right beside me, and I was certain she had just headed in the other direction to where her big sister was holding her mother hostage the living room.

But I had to make sure. I peaked my head around the corner toward the back staircase. Nobody. Then I saw it. Her little blankie lying at the foot of the stairs. I heard a thump above, and Little Sister's lifeless body flashed before my eyes where the blankie lay. I raced to the staircase, up the stairs and around the corner.

There she stood, grinning at me with her "You think that's your biggest problem?" expression again.

The revolution is gaining momentum. They hold the kitchen. They won the living room. Now they have a toehold on the upstairs landing. It won't be long until the toddlers and their imaginary friends have overrun the house and declared it a free country. Bedtimes will be banned and candy will be the national currency.

When they leave home, I'll need more than a five-year cruise to de-stress. Maybe ten years will be enough.

David Leonhardt runs a personal growth happiness website. He is author of one of the best self-help books and many personal growth articles to reprint. Visit also his liquid vitamins website.

Is It Okay For Moms To Get Bored?

2008-01-24T14:35:00.000-07:00

When Desperate Housewives first came on the air I was glued to the program not because of the sex and scandal, but because of the character Lynette. She seemed so real to me and represented so much of what I felt and still feel today about motherhood.

In one episode Lynette was in the grocery store, looking frazzled and obviously terrorized by her boys when she has an encounter with one of those perfect mothers. This lady was done up beautifully with an angelic child that sat quietly in the grocery cart. This Stepford beauty smiled over at Lynette and said, “Don’t you just love being a mother?”

Lynette then did what anyone would do in her situation and simply smiled and nodded. But the truth was that she didn’t really love being a mom, that she didn’t fit into that mould like she thought she should and that she missed her old role in the workforce.

I feel like Lynette from those older episodes. As though there is a certain motherhood mould that I will just never be able to squeeze into. Although I love my kids with a fierceness I’ve never experienced before, I am ashamed to say that I do get bored with our day-to-day lives. I don’t find Treehouse TV intellectually stimulating and most children’s books are kind-of annoying (I mean, read Jack and the Beanstalk and think about what you would do as a poor woman with a stupid boy that just sold your last cow for a couple of magic beans!). To top it all off, cleaning the house causes my already mentally stunted brain to shut down. I usually count down the hours until Ken gets home from work each and every day.

I watched 20/20 the other week and they did a segment on an article from London’s Daily Mail by Helen Kirwan-Taylor entitled, “Sorry, but my children bore me to death!”. The author of the article is a little extreme in her boredom, but it made me feel better that I wasn’t alone in feeling a little mentally numb at the end of the day.

Well, until 20/20 interviewed other moms about the article. They crucified Kirwan-Taylor. One person wrote on their blog that she should “do the world a favor and don’t reproduce.” Another post read, “Your lack of parental love borders on child abuse.”

To be honest, after reading her article and listening to the scathing responses to it, I guess that it’s okay to be in the middle of the road. Even though I feel completely bored and brain-dead by the end of each and every day, at least I know that being a stay-at-home-mom is the most important thing I can be at this point in life. I truly do think it’s worth the sacrifice of a little less cash and a little less mental stimulation to be with them everyday during these important infant and toddler years. Plus, I do make a consistent effort to help my children explore the world around them through a variety of different activities.

We read books, watch some TV together, play with Play-Doh, build block castles, play with trains, do crafts and colouring and play outside (well, maybe not all those activities every day, but some or most of them each day). I take the girls to swimming lessons and take Devin to ballet (even though I may bring a book on the days that Teri and Cassie can’t make it). Despite not feeling like I fit the mould, I still try to squeeze into it on a daily basis.

So even though I do feel bored with many of the day-to-day aspects of being a stay-at-home-mom, at least I try, right? That should win me a few brownie points.

Jamie Leggatt is a freelance writer, wife and mother to two little girls. You can share her daily challenges as a stay-at-home-mom by visiting her blog, http://www.discoveringjamie.blogspot.com/. Or share in her struggle with depression at http://www.fightingthedarkness.blogspot.com

Comeback of the Mustache? I Don't Think So

2008-01-23T17:47:00.000-07:00

HA! I am ROTFL! (put that in there to disgust the kiddos who hate it when I use "slang")! I was the lucky kid of a broken family and was blessed to have four parents - one dad WITH, one WITHOUT! Not a facial hair gal myself, I got a real kick out of Auria's observations! :) Read on....

There is an ugly rumor circulating about the return of the 1970s mustache-wearing male finding his way to the 21st century. Is this a backlash to the metrosexual era? Is this a way for the "regular guy" to reclaim his masculinity? Is this a way of making food stuck to a man's face acceptable?

As a single woman, I strongly object to this horrific trend.

I'm not going to throw around careless accusations against facial hair. That just wouldn’t be right. Rather, my approach will be fair and balanced. You know, the reporting style made famous by Fox News.

For starters, the mustache reminds me of 1970s porn. As a kid, I wasn't always able to recognize the vital body parts through the scrambled Playboy Channel, but I could always tell if the man was wearing a mustache. Not a sexy scene, my friends.

Sticking with the 1970s theme, my father sported a mustache back then, and I don't want to date a man that resembles him. That's taking the Father Complex theory way too far.

Most importantly, I have very sensitive skin. In fact, so sensitive that I once went out on a date with a man that had facial hair and after three hours of lip smacking, my skin became so irritated that I developed a rash. Sure, you can make the argument that the rash was due to the marathon-long make-out session, not the mustache per se, but this isn’t a time to be logical. Let's keep the focus of this post where it belongs, on the ill-conceived return of the mustache.

I'm not prejudiced; I'm against all mustaches.

Pencil mustache? No way. It reminds me of John Waters.

The toothbrush? Um, no. Charlie Chaplin donned that one for a reason: it's funny-looking.

Horseshoe-style mustache? Nice try. Hulk Hogan can get away with it is because wrestlers are cartoon-like.

Magnum, P. I. mustache? Oh, now you're playing dirty (I like that), but chances are you don't look like Tom Selleck. Psssssst. If you share his rugged good looks, e-mail me your digits.

Guys, take it from me. I won't steer you wrong. There is a reason the mustache trend died a slow death. Here's a hint: men aren't supposed to be walking buffets, able to select from an assortment of late-night snacks trapped in their hippielips.

I’m just sayin'.

About The Author
Auria Cortes is a writer, artist, and wannabe guitar player. To read and comment on her life observations go to www.auriacortes.com.

John Wayne vs the Petticoat Approach to Parenting

2008-01-22T11:32:00.000-07:00

I ran across this article and had to have a little giggle. I can totally relate to the "Hondo" example - that's exactly how my dad taught me to swim! Great example of how a mom & dad work it out when their approaches to parenting are vastly different...

By Julie Butler

My husband and I have different views on parenting. He likes to recount a scene from an old John Wayne movie, "Hondo", where a young boy doesn't know how to swim. Raised solely by his mother who was never able to teach him, the boy was afraid of the water. Hondo, in true John Wayne manner, picks up the lad and flings him out in the middle of a pond. And guess what? He swims. Had to. Or he would have drowned.

And that's been pretty much my husband's approach. His advice for parents would be to just chuck the kid out into the middle of the pond. Let him sink ...or swim. He's pretty much the same way when it comes to managing child behavior. "Let reality be the teacher", he'd advise. Learn from the school of hard knocks. Let him touch the hot stove. He won't do it a second time.

Well, I'm a mom, and I'm much too protective to adopt this approach. Where my kids are concerned, I want to protect them from all of life's abrasions. I think most moms are like this. We devour articles on parenting, hoping for the right advice. Hoping that we're doing the right thing. We try to guide our kids through life as gently as we can. It tears us apart to see them hurt or injured.

My husband would argue that his method is the most humane and caring because it makes the child stronger and prepares him better for the difficulties that lie ahead. And maybe he's right. I suspect though, that in spite of his macho stance, he's secretly monitoring the situation and is ready to step in to help if he's needed.

At any rate, to resolve our different approaches, we invented a tool for child behavior management. We call it the Better Behavior Wheel. Basically, it consists of a roulette wheel type of board with consequences around the perimeter instead of numbers. When our kids misbehave they get to spin. It's very effective.

But where it really shines, in my opinion, is in the way it combines both of our parenting styles so there's no longer any disagreement on the appropriate course of action. With the Wheel we all sit down ahead of time and select which consequences should be put on the board for each particular misbehavior. My husband gets to have his say, as do the kids and myself. Once we've all agreed, there's no more discussion or disharmony. When the kids misbehave, out comes the Better Behavior Wheel. And as parents, we're no longer the 'bad guys', but merely interested bystanders. Child behavior management has never been easier.

When we showed the device to our friends they all wanted one too, so we reluctantly started building them. Today we've helped over 10,000 grateful parents with our invention, and the orders just keep coming in. Not only did the Wheel give us well behaved kids, it also created peace and harmony in our home, as my husband and I no longer argue over how to deal with our kids' innapropriate behavior. Today, our kids have grown into delightful young adults, and we like to think that the Wheel had a great deal to do with that.

A mother of 4 kids from Eugene, Oregon, Julie Butler now lives in central British Columbia where she markets the Better Behavior Wheel to grateful parents. Her website is http://www.better-behavior.com

Parenting---Roots And Wings

2008-01-21T13:07:00.000-07:00

I'm sure many of you have heard that old Hallmark card adage that goes something like this: Parents give their children two great gifts---one is roots, the other is wings. This is what I address in this article.

As parents, we pray for our children's safety, health and happiness. We do everything we know to help make these things happen for them.

At some point in our lives, we developed the principles and values that guide our life decisions. Our parents and/or caregivers certainly had influence over this but not complete determination. Some of us gladly adopted the values of our parents and continue to live by them today. Some of us so completely rejected our parents values that our decisions are determined by doing the exact opposite of what we believe our parents would do.

Most of us, however, are somewhere in the middle---we have accepted some of our parents values and rejected others. This is a normal process of development. As parents, though, we really fight that period in our children's lives when they are attempting to differentiate themselves from us.

Maybe it is because we fear for their safety in their decision-making. Maybe we can see that they are engaging in unhealthy behavior or heading down a life path that will ultimately lead to unhappiness. Whatever the reason, we get scared if our children's values differ too much from our own.

What can we, as parents, do? First of all, as we raise our children, we are helping to strengthen their roots. This is the first gift a parent gives their child. How does one strengthen roots? We tend, we nurture, we feed, we cultivate---all to develop strong roots.

Sharing our value system with our children is critical to this process. In sharing values, remember that people pay more attention to what they see, as opposed to what they hear. Therefore, if you are a parent who tells your children it is wrong to smoke while you are toking on your cigarette, know that their interpretation of smoking will likely be different from what you are verbally espousing.

A developmental task of adolescence is separation and individuation. This is the time when children are attempting to separate themselves from their parents to an extent. It can be a very frightening time for parents. What do we do? This is the time for the second parental gift---wings.

We want to give our children gradual "flying" lessons. Children are not ready to go from the total and complete shelter of their parents' protection to being absolutely out on their own. This must be a gradual process.

Dr. Nancy Buck, in her book Peaceful Parenting, says it best. "We limit freedom for as long as it takes to teach responsible behavior and then we give back the freedom." We want our children learning the precarious process of making decisions while they are still under our semi-protection.

During the teen years is the perfect time to allow our teens to begin the process of deciding what their own set of values will be. If you have done a good job with the roots and you handle the next part with a minimum of confrontation, then the value process will go relatively smoothly.

Remember, your teen is doing nothing different than you did. The only difference is that you were wrestling with your parents' values and your teen is wrestling with YOUR values. It has a very different feel to it, but it is the same nonetheless. You may say that your value system works just fine for you and your teen needs to see things the same way you do. However, the reality is that you cannot know what is best for another person, including your children. You are not them. You do not occupy their skin. Only they can truly decide what is best for themselves and then they will have to live with the consequences of their decisions.

I remember when my oldest son was sixteen and working as a waiter in a local diner. He became involved in a confrontation with a customer over a racial remark the customer made. When hearing the story, I was extremely proud that my son stood up for equality and fairness but was actually mortified by his immature, locker room behavior that he displayed! No, I will not print exactly what he did but suffice it to say that it was not a proud maternal moment.

My son and I had several conversations about this incident over the next few days and I was unable to get him to understand that what he had done was inappropriate. Finally, he said to me, "Mom, I know you want me to say that I was wrong but I'm not ashamed of what I did. In fact, I would do exactly the same thing if the situation presents itself again." Wow, I guess he told me!

I had to practice what I preach. His value system was not matching up with mine. It was very clear to me that he was "wrong", however, in his world at that time, he did the "right" thing for him. When you give your child wings, you need to allow them to do things their own way even if you are sure a better way exists. You can offer your better way in the form of a suggestion, but then get out of the way and allow your child to make the decision and to manage the consequences that occur because of that decision.

This process helps our children become better decision makers. We talk with our children about all the choices that exist, and then examine the pros and cons of each choice. After that, we must step back and allow our children to make the decision that's right for them. Then, we can talk to them about how things worked out but never protect them from the consequences of their decisions. This is where the learning takes place.

You are there to support them and help them manage the consequences but don't intervene on their behalf and also don't assume that "I told you so" attitude. That does not teach your child anything but not to come to you to talk things over anymore.

By: Kim Olver

I Can't Find My Homework, Mom!

2008-01-17T16:03:00.000-07:00

Do you believe in asking God, or whatever higher power you choose to believe in, for the answers you need, when you need them? Read below for an enlightening story about my 11 year old daughter's missing homework papers.

The problem started when my daughter took a break from her homework to eat dinner. She asked me if she could take it in her room and work on it while watching TV.

(Not a good idea, BTW). Even the best of us moms have our weak moments. :o)

Anyhow, by the time dinner was over, there was no homework to be found.

As with all lost items, I suggested the usual mom replies. "Retrace your steps." "Think, where was the last place you wrote an answer down on it."

She spent 15 minutes of looking, another 10 minutes of tears for fear of getting detention, during her first week of middle school, (for not turning in homework.) All the tears and whining in frustration were followed with another 10 minutes of both of us looking, and still no homework.

Can you relate?

I bet as a mom, you have probably, been there, done that, if not with homework, with a child's shoes, your car keys. etc.....

I had recently been reading and studying up on manifesting your life, and creating the life you want by projecting a positive attitude, following your intuition. I had been real motivated and psyched with what I was learning.

"Okay mom, I thought to myself," "now you can put all this philosophy to the test."

I said,

"Let's kneel down on the floor right now, and ask God to help us find your homework." She started to giggle as if to say, but she knew not to dare say it out loud, "Yeah right, Mom!"

We knelt down and I lead her in a short but to the point prayer. Although small in time, it was still filled with gratitude but we did request immediate help to find her homework.

I can see some of you laughing at me, as this story unfolds.

As soon as we were done, I stood up. I told her to take a deep breath and relax. I did the same. Then I went to the kitchen. I thought to myself, "maybe she was still hungry and brought the homework out here while looking for something else to eat."

I started to walk to the refrigerator. :o) Well who knows, it could have been in there. But before I even got that far, I glanced over to the counter, and there sat her homework packet, on top of the toaster.

I picked it up and took it back to the living room. Now remember, I told her to take a deep breath and relax. She wasn't even through relaxing and I had already found her homework.

Needless to say, my daughter had a hard time believing that I hadn't known it was there all along.

She did know that though, because she had heard my anguish and frustration just minutes earlier with her misplacing it.

Was it just coincidence? Did I just get lucky?

I believe we create our own luck. I have been studying hard lately to eliminate negative thoughts and replace them with power affirming thoughts instead.

I believe God did just what I asked him too. It was my intuition that led me to the kitchen with the thought about her maybe being hungry. The fact that she might have been looking for food when she set down her homework led me straight to the toaster.

In my humble opinion, it was God who planted those thoughts into my mind, because we asked him for some help. When He answers us so quickly, it is really almost impossible not to believe and have faith.

If it was only that easy to have the same type of faith if we were to ask to win the lottery, (which I don't feel is really an appropriate prayer,however). To believe that he could remove all thought, or doubt in our minds that we wouldn't, it might just happen too.

How many of you can honestly say, when you buy a lottery ticket, it is an absolute winner, that you have not one flickering of a doubt that you will have the winning numbers? You would have to have miraculous faith to do this.

You can't really, because it is next to impossible for the human mind, knowing the odds of actually winning, to eliminate all traces of doubt in that particular scenerio. Some of those thoughts are buried so deep in your subconscious that you are not even aware of them.

In contrast though, it was fairly easy for me to have faith that God could help me find my daughter's homework, because I knew it hadn’t grown feet and walked out the door. :o)

Laurie Meade is a WAHM,webmaster, writer, reviewer an online internet marketing researcher. Visit lauriemeade.com

How Self-Esteem Affirmations Build Character in Your Kids

2008-01-14T16:42:00.000-07:00

Is your child’s self-esteem low? Are other kids’ opinions of him more important than his own? Is he afraid to try new things? Inside you’ll find my personal story and how self-esteem affirmations can build character in your child.

How Lack of Confidence Fractured My Ribs:

I started skiing in my 40’s. Whenever I looked down from the snow-covered hilltops, my eyes widened. My heart pounded, and my knees turned to jelly. On one downhill run, my fear sent me crashing and I fractured my ribs.

I knew I had to get over my fear because I wanted to ski with my family. Being a child/family counselor, naturally I turned to affirmations. With the next ski trip I told myself, ‘I can and I am.’ Then I pushed off into a great downhill ride.

Can you see what I did? When I felt controlled from the outside, I worried about the steepness of the hill, the recklessness of skiers nearby skiers, and my own abilities to make it to the bottom in one piece. With those thoughts I fractured my ribs.

Self-Esteem Affirmations - How Inner Control Increased My Success:

I couldn’t let these fears control me. I needed inner control. Affirmations were the answer. At home I visualized the ski slope. I felt the good feeling of swishing down the hillside and I told myself, “I can and I am.” I was changing my outer control to inner control. My next ski runs were a breeze. The affirmation worked for me on the ski slopes and this process can work for you and your children too.

Building Character and Reaching Goals:

Don’t let your kids be controlled by other kids’ ridicule, opinions, or snubs. Don’t let your kids be ruled by fear of trying new opportunities. Don’t let your child hear put-downs from you.

Teach your children to switch from outer control to inner control. Teach your children to see, sense, and say their goals. Ask them questions. Probe them for their negative thoughts. Guide them to positive pictures, words, and feelings. They’ll reach their goals and build character too.

Article by:

Jean Tracy, MSS publishes a Free Parenting Newsletter at www.KidsDiscuss.com Subscribe and receive 80 fun activities to share with your kids.

Sign up for Jean’s free Parenting Skills Blog and receive two Free Parenting Tips each week. Subscribe at http://parentingskillsblog.typepad.com

Can you Super SIZE Mommy?

2008-01-11T17:27:00.000-07:00

I have my own theory concerning the great life of Motherhood. A few years ago, I gave birth to my firstborn. Slowly gradually I noticed a change in my memory. My best friends would tell me “Hun, It’s just hormones.” or : You just need some sleep”. This made great sense when they were saying it. It was the estrogen that was making me forget where I lived, the reason I left my breast outside my shirt when I went to check the mail. Was it a hormone problem that was making me have memory failure?

Before I became a parent, I had tons of theories. I read all the books while I was pregnant. Today I can tell you throw all your theories down the drain. A good theory is “ I don’t know anything, and Yes those are my kids.” My theory is to never be surprised. I will learn to answer the wonderful but surprising questions. “ Mommy, Did you know the dog can fly?” or “ Mommy, where did you get your butt?” Believe me, Girlfriend, this is not the only mystery to the questions they are going to ask you.

In the beginning of great motherhood, cleaning house, staying up for 48 hours with a sick baby,
doing laundry before mildew set in was doable. Three children later, I look for the shooting star so I may make a wish for the “Cleaning Fairy”. I also believe all Mommy’s should write a letter to Maytag and ask them “ Where do all the socks go?”

As I am picking up the living room for the 100th time today, trying to make a mental note of who has gymnastics and what time, who needs clothes cleaned, did the kids eat their lunch and where is the dog? Do we even have a dog? I hear in that sweet little voice “ Mommy, I love you”. I smile.

I believe that every mom goes through a time in their life where you fill you have no direction. Maybe our girlfriends blame it on hormones, maybe our husbands blame it on being disorganized, maybe we believe our children are driving us nuts . When you find yourself in that moment, realize what you have in front of you. Remember the gift of being an amazing mom.
Remember that you are not alone. What are Mothers and Mother in Laws don’t tell us, the times the have looked for the missing socks and the times the “ordered in for dinner”. We probably won't tell our daughter and daughter in laws either!

As your children grow, you will grow! Everything in life has become super sized so have you Mommy!

Article by:
Chaele McMillan is a mother of three. She owns The Perfect Image, Mom State University and the Operation Manager for Sunrise Retreats www.sunriseretreats.com. She also owns a Photography studio out of her home.

Patience is a Great Teacher

2008-01-10T10:03:00.000-07:00

had an interesting experience last month. I was invited to teach a Girl Scout troop how to knit. I’ve taught kids before and had great success with it, but this was the first time I’ve taught a large group of kids at once. I was humbled by the experience and am giving thanks to all those fifth grade teachers out there who do this every day.

This troop consisted of ten girls who described themselves as “urban scouts.” They never went camping, or hiking, or even to a state park as a troop. They earned their computer badge. They did service projects at the mall. They learned about international cultures. They wanted to learn to knit.

So they invited me to teach them. I decided to keep the lesson short and just get them going on a garter-stitch scarf. This would be easy enough for them to do, or so I thought. The troop leader allocated two hours for me to cover the basics of casting on, knitting, and binding off. While most of the girls caught on quickly, there were a few that got frustrated. This is where my patience comes in.

I have a two year old daughter. She tries my patience all the time, but in a very different way. My daughter is frustrated because her body can’t yet do all the things her mind wants it to. These girls were frustrated because they couldn’t make their hands repeat what they just learned. They could get the stitch down once, but the next one didn’t work. They could cast on, but then would forget the next time we tried it. It even got me a little frustrated because I watched the girls do the stitches correctly and then when I returned to them, they had forgotten already.

It took a lot of patience and understanding to help these girls develop a repeatable skill. They wanted to learn, and I wanted to teach. We just had a patience problem in the middle. As with all girls that age, they compared themselves with their peers. As one or two of the girls would be off and knitting, the others felt like they were failing. They were far more willing to quit and just say they didn’t want to knit so they wouldn’t feel inferior to the others.

The troop leader and I took these girls under our wings and gave them the skills. We offered teaching that was personalized to them. We worked one on one with them until they gained the confidence to shine. I think there are a few who have taken the experience and started knitting something on their own. I suspect there are a couple who may never knit again. But all of them found out something about themselves. They all recognized that they can learn something new. They found they can appreciate the things they make themselves. They found they can share a skill with others.

The most amazing thing happened about a week after this class. I received a thank you card in the mail. All the girls had made it after I left. They said they were a little frustrated while they were learning, but they all look forward to learning more. I still have that card. I am planning to keep it with all my important business papers so that I can always look back on that card and remember the day that it took all the patience I had to bring a group of ten girls through frustration to appreciation. I know that I am a better person because of that class, and I hope that the girls remember the day as one where they learned how patience can get them through life’s challenges.

Article by:
Lisa Akers is the president of Be Still & Knit. Her company teaches women how to find peace and stillness in their lives through handwork. By discovering knit and crochet, women develop a new way to take time for themselves and share the love they have as warm clothing! Find out more about Lisa at www.bestillandknit.com or listen to her podcast at www.peacefulknitter.com.

Are you a mostly-sane WAHM, too?

2008-01-09T18:03:00.000-07:00

I have a confession.

I’m a mostly-sane WAHM. I’m far from the ‘got it together’ work at home mom that I’d like to be.

I believe that there are a lot of women out there like me – clutching onto your sanity while juggling family, daily work requirements, basketball practice, ballet recitals, PTA meetings, and the many other responsibilities we carry on our shoulders.

If you’ve been a WAHM for more than a minute, you know the predicament we face. We chose to work from home so we could spend more time with our children. This is great in theory. What happens, though is that we end up with no scheduled and defined work time, so it becomes a struggle to find time to spend with our kids. When you hear other people say “It must be so nice to work from home so you can spend time with your kids all day”, you roll on the floor laughing. If only it were so simple! Finding the balance between work and home can be a constant struggle especially when work IS home.

I remember the days when I worked out of the home in an office job. I had two separate and distinct compartments in my life. There was the office, where I could work in peace and quiet, focus on projects and be productive. And, then there was home, where I was able to focus on my children and have fun. I had scheduled working hours, and also distinct family time.

Now, I have the ‘hom-ffice’, an odd melding of home and office. The line between the two compartments is unclear. My office is now an extension of home. And, home is becoming an extension of my office.

Because of this dilemma, I find that I’ve got the focus of a gnat. Here’s how my work day goes.

I wake up, grab a cup of coffee, and sit in front of the computer to check my email. Fifty new messages. No problem. I get ready to tackle the first one.

“Dear Nicole, I was wondering if you might be interested in” …

“juice in a sippy cup, pretty please my pretty mommy?”

Whoa!! Ok, brain switch! I turn and look at my little girl who just crawled out of bed. She is a perfect picture of childhood, with her big brown eyes, sweaty wildly curly hair and big grin. I hug this rosy-cheeked angel and go to the kitchen to get juice. Then, I sit back down and attempt to read my email

“Dear Nicole, I was wondering if you might be interested in my new affiliate program selling” ...

“the new Lego robot I built!”

Brain switch again. I swivel my office chair and see my son, his blue eyes twinkling, and his face beaming proudly, holding up his Lego creation. I ‘ooh’ and ‘ahhh’ over the new Lego invention -- a robot that can climb walls. I rub his blonde head and tell him how wildly creative he is. He grins and goes back to Lego-building.

I swivel back to work, and try to get as much done as I can between the many interruptions, karate practice, dinner and bedtime stories. Oftentimes, late at night, you can find me working, while watching late night TV shows. My husband comes in to check on me. I swivel my chair to get my good-night kiss and I tell him that I just want to wrap up a few last projects. I stagger to bed late at night only to start again, before the kids wake up in the morning.

Are you seeing the pattern? Is there any wonder that I’m mostly-sane? Look at your own days and I’ll bet they are very similar to mine.

Despite the frazzled hours and days, and all the distractions, I love being a WAHM. The honest truth is that I wouldn’t trade my job for any corporate job in America.

However, as I meet more and more work at home moms, it’s becoming apparent that I’m not alone in my struggles. Other moms are setting expectations that are just not matching reality. What can we do about it?

1. Reclaim your office:

If you have one room that you can dedicate to your work, stake your claim on it. Clear out all toys and non-work items. Make your “hom-ffice” a real office. No more messing around with half a commitment to your business. Your office is your turf. Protect it.

2. Buy a timer:

If your children are old enough to understand the concept of time, invest in a timer. It’s a life saver. The next time you need uninterrupted working time, tell the kids that you’re setting the timer for 20 minutes. If they give you 20 minutes of uninterrupted work time, then reward them with quality time with you. Play a board game together or go to the park.

Set goals this month to reclaim your work area and your time, and you will take a step closer to being a happy, relaxed, and successful WAHM!

Nicole Dean is the mostly-sane Mom behind www.ShowMomTheMoney.com. Are you a Work at Home Mom looking for ways to get more traffic? Take her Web Traffic School tutorial - Free! www.WebTrafficBasics.com

Choose Your Chair Wisely, My Child

2008-01-08T13:04:00.000-07:00

Those of us who spent long rainy hours of our childhood summers on folding chairs in the main dining hall of Camp Geemahowitsuks will never forget those rickety old contraptions with bum-pinching wooden slats. I have a few embarrassing scars to prove I was there, singing "Kumbaya" with the best of them.

Tell me why, then, when those old wooden camp chairs were headed at last for the dump a few years back, I appropriated a half-dozen to bring home?!

The history of home furnishings has some better moments, to be sure, than the ill-fated day that some bright spark invented the folding chair. Clever, yes, and the wood is the kind of rich dark anonymous patina that you can't replicate in modern furniture. They haven't made chairs like that since the Second World War, I'm sure.

And folding chairs are practical, no argument there! I love to be able to stow the chairs away in the cupboard under the stairs when they're not needed. But, frankly my dear, there comes a time in a woman's life when she really wants something a little more stable underneath her floral chiffon derriere when she shows up here for Charlene's baby shower...

I love old furniture, that's my problem.

But I'm prepared to admit that not all of the beautiful chairs and tables in the world were created in the decadent days of Louis Quinze, however, or by eccentric European artists turning out handcrafted one-of-a-kind whatnots in tiny ateliers, the musky ambiance redolent of of sawdust and beeswax polish...

No, some of the truly fabulous furniture comes out of the work-a-day aesthetic of colonial North America — or the clever inventions of more recent times, suchas all-metal folding chairs, metal-legged chairs, moulded plastic chairs and ergonomic chairs...

New and improved technology led to innovations such as molded plywood and laminate wood chairs — think Eames — and then there was that whole decor-gone-wild Mod Movement in the 1960s, with the butterfly chair, bean bags, the pod chair. (Have you ever checked out some of the chairs and "conversation pits" in the movies of the sixties? Groovy, baby!)

But if "the history of furniture parallels the progress of culture," we have a problem, Houston...

I've got mixed feelings about the marriage of technology and art — as you may have gathered by now — when it comes to an object whose primary function (lets face it) is to keep the butt of my guests' white jeans unsullied by the dust-bunnies.

Who hasn't experienced at least one personally undignified moment, struggling to escape the after-dinner effects of gravity in combination with low-slung "art furniture"? I've had my share of flailing and sprawling and spilling the tea.

As a result, I was less than overjoyed to see the infamous butterfly chair attempting to make a comeback as lawn furniture last season, let me tell you! I mean, Hello! Let's take an inheritantly unstable chair that requires Olympic-level gymnastic abilities to exit with grace and aplomb — and set it up outdoors, on the Sutherlands' crumbling patio or my own bumpy lawn? I think not.

Some of this stuff makes my turn-of-the-century wooden bum-pinchers look like a better choice!

Choose your chairs wisely, my child. Don't just admire the upholstery — do a test sit. In fact, get your elephantine great-aunt Bertha to do a test sit. Heck, if you can get a little privacy in the showroom, go ahead and try a discreet little lap-dance to test it out!

Just make good and sure that this chair is going to be a happy addition to your home, not only the right price and a pretty style. Your bottom line will thank you, and your dignity will too.

Jen (a.k.a. Domestik Goddess) is a thrifty home-loving writer who dabbles in arts and crafts, lives to feed a crowd, and generally enjoys life in a drafty old farmhouse on Canada's east coast. So you wannabee a Domestik Goddess? Visit domestikgoddess.blogspot.com for more decor ideas.

Getting the family to understand Mom needs "Me time"

2008-01-05T12:16:00.000-07:00

Your family needs to understand that moms need to have a "time out" too. However, you have to grab those illusive chances before they are gone. Let’s look at some ways to make time for mom without starting a family mutiny.

Give Yourself a Break

Most women already know what the statistics show: We are still carrying most of the load. We juggle kids, work, home, volunteering and everything in between. Are we really enriching our lives by doing everything?

"When we are stressed, overwhelmed and tired, we have a shorter fuse. We become irritable, and it’s more difficult to handle the challenges of being with children," says Rachelle Disbennett-Lee, a personal life coach in Aurora, Colorado.

Logically, we know that running ourselves on empty isn't good for our health or our families. But the instinct to be a devoted mother means operating in overdrive. We want our children to be happy, and we desire to give them every possible life experience, even at the expense of our own needs. We feel guilty if our children don't have everything we think they should have.

"When we emerge from our solitude, we are stronger, more relaxed and calmer," says Disbennett-Lee. She adds that as much as we need a break, our children need one, too. When we establish "mommy time," we are in fact helping our children learn independence, socialization and hopefully, an appreciation of what we do for them. Even more importantly, we are demonstrating that taking care of ourselves is important.

One word of caution, "Me" time should not be scheduled at the sacrifice of others or occupy a large portion of your schedule. If you have been on a business trip for a week it's not fair to your family to schedule the entire weekend as "me" time.

Here are a few tips for moms on the run who are smart enough to get a little ‘me time.’ Make sure you pick up on the humorous side of the situation in this 8 Rule Plan.

1. Tell your family when you will be gone and for what reason. Be very clear - then go do it.
2. Unless someone is sick and there's no one else to watch them -- don't listen to reasons why you shouldn't go. The chores and Holiday projects can wait -- or they can begin them without you.
3. If you don't go -- don't blame it on your family.
4. If you are sick, let them know you plan to make up your lost "girlfriend time" at the next convenient opportunity.
5. Even though you love your family, try to get out by yourself (especially during the holidays).
6. Look around, are there more things in the house you could delegate to others? If so, do it. This will take more of the load off of you.
7. Try not to take a pager or phone. Everything will be there when you get back.
8. If you are going to be late let dad explain, in a positive way, that you will see them in the morning.

Schedule your ‘me time’ on the weekend when your husband or another family member can spend some quality time with your children. I tend to take my ’me time’ on the weekends, because I have more energy and it allows my husband to spend some one-on-one time with our daughter. She enjoys having daddy take her to the park, and I get a few hours away from the house to unwind. It’s amazing what just three hours will do!

If your children are younger, schedule your ‘me time’ around naps. If you really feel like you can’t leave the house when your children are awake, then schedule your ‘me time’ during their naps on the weekend. Take a two-hour break, go out and grab lunch, see a movie, or take a book to the local coffee shop and enjoy some quiet time.

Rally the Troops

To successfully plan a time out for yourself, get everyone in the family involved. Even the smallest hands can reduce the workload for Mom. Trade babysitting with another mom and use that time to rejuvenate. Give yourself a spa treatment with a hot bubble bath and pamper yourself with quality moisturizers. Indulge with "grown up" things like fine chocolates or a glass of wine with a good book. Connecting with other moms is also fulfilling and relaxing.

Something else to remember as we look for light at the end of the tunnel: This time with our children will go faster than we think. As our children get older, we will have more and more time to ourselves. If we use this time wisely and take care of ourselves, the whole family will reap the benefits.

Though it’s difficult to take time away from your children, it is definitely an important thing to do. Remember, an important part about being a mom is identifying when burnout is setting in and then going out and doing something about it. Oftentimes just a few hours away will be enough to help you renew and recharge; not only will you notice the difference, but your children will as well.

Article by:
www.bizymoms.com has been dedicated to helping moms work at home for over 10 years. Visit today to enjoy free resources like live chats, interactive message boards, informative articles and of course help and advice from the Bizymoms’ Home Business Support Team!

Having a Tea Party With Your Toddler

2008-01-04T09:55:00.000-07:00

Well all of those baths with the plastic cups and bowls have paid off. My daughter can pour tea with the best of them!

Recently I was looking for an innovative way to get my daughter to drink the healthy baby teas, popular in Europe for young children. Actually herbal tisanes made from Rooibos and Honeybush, these teas are safe for the whole family and even expectant mothers.

As a new taste sensation for my daughter she was not yet accustomed to the taste of herbal tea that my husband and I drank on a daily basis and wouldn’t drink the tea without much coaxing. You see my baby had come down with a small cold and these baby teas carry great health benefits along with being high in vitamins.

I decided a mini tea party might do the trick. Already showing a great desire to help mommy out around the house I thought she might like the idea of a special tea just for us.

I got out and washed up her small child’s tea set. I showed her how to set the dishes out.
Then I cut out tiny sandwiches, small pieces of fruit and cheese and covered her kid sized table with a large decorative napkin.

We said grace and then holding her tiny hand in mine I showed her how to pour each cup just below the rim with the fragrant brew.

We sipped and chatted and in a little bit she, on her own, decided I needed a refill. She filled my tiny cup and I thanked her. We ate on.

Shortly afterwards we cleared the table and she showed the familiar signs of needing a nap. But this time she didn’t fuss, or argue. She gave me a sweet smile and snuggled up with her stuffed rabbit ready to drift off to dream land.

At noon each day I’m reminded to begin the preparations for tea and this simple ritual has since become our daily lunch routine. Easy, simples, and special.

Oh and the cold is long gone.

Article by:
For more information on baby teas including citations for health research vist www.babyteas.com and for more great homemaking information visit O Quinn at www.homemakingorganized.com

Poolee

2008-01-03T14:54:00.000-07:00

Glare and chaos of the holidays behind, it's time to focus on what's ahead....

My oldest boy is preparing to leave for Marine Boot Camp. At this stage of his career he is called a "poolee" - which basically means he's waiting to be sworn in as a "recruit" the day before he leaves for boot camp. He will not get to wear the distinction of the "Marine" title until he gradutes next summer.

This is a tough place. I've taken the liberty of arming myself with any resource available for military moms, joined a few groups, bookmarked a zillion pages, updated my MySpace with vidoe tributes, etc. I'm getting "the boy" up at the crack of dawn to work out and jog - conditioning for his training. I'm officially on the "military mom" diet - eat NOTHING cause I'm stressed, 12 hours later eat EVERYTHING cause I'm stressed.

We've planned the "going away party", notified the friends and family who are all on standby to furiously write letters of encouragement for 13 weeks - braced them all for the "homesick stage" during week 3, and made arrangements to stay with relatives near the base at the time he graduates.

All the siblings have been assigned duties for "guarding" his most prized possessions in his absence - I'm pretty sure most of them will be rendered obsolete by the time he returns. He won't be a kid anymore, I doubt they'll hold the same value as before.

11 weeks to go and counting......

Happy Birthday! Kleenex Please.

2007-12-30T10:20:00.000-07:00

Some traditions develop accidentally - some a created out of necessity. Such is the case with the birthday streamers.

A few years ago my youngest son (now 9) was turning 4. He is the 5th of six children - oldest is now 18 - and as his birthday approached his dad and I felt pretty confident that we had the birthday "thing" under control. We had established a "tradition" of allowing our school aged kids to remain home "sick" on their big day. It seemed the schools in our neighborhood made great efforts to NOT acknowledge birthdays in class, so any form of celebration during school hours was strongly discouraged. As is the case in any big family, funds were always limited so our child could expect to have a cake, a present, and a round of applause - whoohoo! So to compensate, we gave the kids what they really wanted. A get of jail free card on the anniversary of their birth!

Typically the birthday child would taunt the siblings who had to go to school that day with reminders of the fact that the pinnacle of the festivities would occur when the king/queen for the day got to go out to lunch ALONE with mom & dad to their very favorite restaurant to be serenaded by hyperactive waitstaff and seduced with the complimentary cake/pie/pastry. It was of course, much too costly to take our blooming legacy all at once to eat out - and was getting to the point of requiring an advance reservation to accomodate our brood. The remaining offspring would grumble out the door lamenting their perceived misfortune, imagining their brother/sister being lavished with gifts, chocolate, and attention while they painfully toiled through the tasks of the day until the stroke of 3pm when they could once again taste the thrill of "freedom from the man".

On this particular day, we had planned to follow the steps of the ritual - although since he was only turning four he had yet to discover the priviledge of a day off from "skool". He would be dining with ma & pa at Red Robin (for whatever reason this outranked Chuck E. Cheese), and at 3:35pm would "party hardy" with the four older kids until clean up at 4pm when he would grin through his green-stained frosting teeth at his new Blue's Clues handy dandy notebook and action figures, fondling them with sticky fingers until bath time.

But ALAS! We were soon to discover that despite our best laid plans to realize his birthday dreams within our meager budget, he was entertaining an entirely different vision in his head.

We had awoken early for our daily coffee meeting and were happily congratulating ourselves on our thorough execution of the planned activites. We were on our game - and feeling much excitement in anticipation of his glee! At 4 he was finally old enough to realize that this was HIS special day, and we were eagerly and patiently waiting for him to wake so we could shower him with "happy birthdays" and "atta boys". Being number 5 we had seen this milestone before - and knew what to expect. OR SO WE THOUGHT...

Before long we heard the thump as he leaped out of bed and bounded down the stairs to the main level which opened into the dining room where we were sitting. We both slyly grinned at each other as we could hear his rapid footsteps decending, and with one final bonzai jump he hit the landing. We were glowing with preparation and ready to sing to give him a especially great start to his morning. He stopped mid air - eyes wide and mouth open ready to crack a gappy-toothed smile - and CRASHED to the floor on his knees exploding into a ear-piercing, gut-wrenching wail that woke all the neighbors for three houses in all directions.

No, he wasn't hurt physically. It seems that our angelic little boy, who hardly ever complained or put up a fuss (I figured this to be just reward for the agony of the previous four)had a vision in his head that we had failed to interpret. And in less than 10 seconds we, his unsuspecting and ill-informed parents, had crushed his dreams and left him traumatized for life. You see, he had arisen that day expecting to land in the dining room amid green balloons, streamers, noisemakers, applause, and fifty of his favorite cartoon superheroes hoisting him up on their shoulders while belting out "for he's a jolly good fellow". For some reason still unknown to us he was EXPECTING this - we had never had decorations or ballons or any of that hoopla on the morning of a birthday in the history of our child bearing - but for this kid, THAT was what a birthday was supposed to look like, and his DIDN'T.

He crumpled to the floor in a ball, sobbing and inconsolable. When he had finally stopped hyperventilating long enough to gasp out WHAT he was so upset about I did the ONLY thing a responsible mother could do. I PANICKED. HOW could I have overlooked this? WHERE were my mind-reading powers and x-ray vision? WHY had they failed me in my fragile and trusting son's time of need?

I promptly ordered his father to get him dressed and ready and take him to McDonald's for a "special Birthday breakfast" with dad to cheer him up. I shuffled the confused masses off to the elementary school, hopped in my mini-van, and drove at light speed to the nearest grocery store. I ripped through the aisles scooping up streamers and decorations - anything green my little eye could spy, blasted back to the bakery a bought every green and birthday balloon they had already inflated, threw them at the dazed checker who I still believe purposely took 5 times longer than necessary to ring them up, stuffed them in the car and raced back home.

With seconds to spare I unloaded the party into the house, taped, curled ribbons, released balloons, and wrapped streamers in every direction with the fervor and desperation of a swimmer battling the undertow. I no sooner let go of the last balloon string when my man and my boy walked in the door from their Egg McMuffin. Walla! INSTANT CURE! He was thrilled! Ecstatic! Even more important - he was HEALED! I made a solemn oath from that day forward that he would NEVER wake up disappointed on his birthday again.

The following year the siblings remembered being rudely awakened by his mournful screams and the oldest few decided to assist me by playing "birthday fairy". As soon as he went to bed they went to work diligently plastering the walls with paper spiderman cutouts (we had evolved from Blue's Clues). They did a fantastic job, he awoke to the birthday of his dreams (or close to it for $20). Every year since the oldest have done their best to outlast him the night before. Nobody has to ask them - the memory of that fateful day is motivation enough.

Last year it finally occured to them to extend their Santa-esque favor to their other siblings too. I am amazed at the work and detail they will go to creating a personalized environment for the birthday child. It seems now that the most exciting thing about the birthday is seeing what the others did while you were sleeping. The reflex has matured into a real, family tradition, and it is not lost on even our youngest.

TODAY the littlest one turns four. Again - a milestone. And NOW we're prepared. The team diligently stayed up late decorating the dining room with pink & orange streamers, white & silver curly ribbons, hand made colorful birthday signs personalized with her name and the number "4". It looks like New Year's on crack in there! And here she comes, chubby little toes stampeding down the hall to her "party" - get ready for a big "YAY" - wait for it - wait for it...

WHAT?????? Oh dear, get the kleenex. It seems we forgot the party hats.